Sunday, December 28, 2008

Where am I at

This past month or so has been hard for me. My running has been close to nil. And my mood has been gloomy because of this lingering injury. It all started this past summer. I ran a race in August while I had some tightness in my left foot and calf. While running this night trail race in the rain and mud, I jammed my ankle bad. Well, I thought I jammed my ankle. The sport doc I saw on November 24th said I broke that ankle. No wonder it is still sore. Apparently, all the running I was doing with a broken left ankle caused me to put stress on my right thigh/ hip area, causing a "stress spot". Luckily I didn't push hard enough to fracture my thigh. But I've had to take a break from running. For 2 weeks I ran nothing, and for the next to weeks I ran very little. This past week I have been able to get in some good runs. Only if I want to race Bandera on January 10th, it is now tapper time. Truthfully, my training has been spotty since June. I have a fuzzy idea of where I am at in terms of my running right now. I love running. I love pushing myself hard. I want to feel my physical limits and then push through them mentally. If I run the 50k or the 100k at Bandera, I can- will have to- push hard. That course is a butt kicker. And so fun. Rocky, hilly, and the weather is always a surprise. Maybe 81 degrees with out a cloud for cover. Maybe 29 and rainy, or any where in between. I'd have fun just being out there helping with the race. So what do I do? 50k or 100k? 2 weeks to decide.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

This Maze

I have a very rough version of this song. I have been wanting to work on the instrumental for this and flesh it out before I posted it. This song has a lot of meaning for me and it is so far from finished. Being a mom is such a strange blessing...I love my kid and am more grateful to God for them then words or even music could ever say. But it is a hard blessing. I think mothers and fathers of multiple little children will get this song. But I know not everyone will. Here is what I have now, minus the melody.

I'm Staring at the writing on my wall,

wanting Lord to see your hand.

I feel myself, I'm crumbling beneath the weight,

of these Gifts that You gave me.

And I don't know why....Please open my eyes.

'Cause I'm blinded by what's here and now,

this destruction so confusing.

I've lost Your way looking for an out.

Can't take what You gave me.

I'm lonely, and never alone.

Little touches bring insanity.

I'm running, but I don't want out.

I just need You to save me.

Keep me lost in this maze.

Don't let me find my way out.

My dreams are dying,

wish I was flying...

Over these walls.

I know You have a plan for me,

and these children You gave me.

But I'm confused and lost inside.

It's hard for me to see You,

through my flooded room,

and emptied cupboards.

I don't understand,

why You've made me their mother.

I'm so lost in this maze.

I can't find my way out.

My dreams are dying.

Wish I was flying...

Over these walls.

I'm trying hard.

You've made me so weak.

Lord help me be, the mom they need me to be.

Keep me lost in this maze.

Don't let me find my way out.

Catch me Lord.

I need your strength to make it through these days.

Lord, let me see Your hand in the writing on my wall.


Friday, November 14, 2008

Sometime in Spring, 2007

My Boys, continued.

I was tiered. And, as too many of my stories start out, I decided to take a nap. I know what you're thinking. Foolish mom. And I am. I knew something could happen if I took my eyes of those two boys for 10minutes. But sleep got the best of me.

When I woke up, my boys (4 and 3) were playing sweetly on my floor. Few, I thought. I got a little nap and nothing is the worse for it. I headed into the pantry to see what I had to make for dinner. Hum....not much. Could have sworn I had more stuff in here...guess I did a pore job at the shopping this week. Looks like it has to be leftovers tonight.

As I heated spaghetti and meat sauce in the microwave, my husband got home for work. Normally I get a kiss first thing. This day I got, "Have you been in the garage?"

Puzzled, I followed Dan back out into the garage. Then I saw why my cupboards were so bear. Why hadn't I realized it before? My boys had raided my pantry. There, on the floor of the garage, hidden to one side of our car, was a giant pretzel tub full of...my pantry. They had taken oatmeal, flour (whole wheat and white), sugar (brown and granulated), pudding mixes, crystal light mix, Gatorade's, malted vinegar, baking soda, baking powder, a box of kosher salt, and a brand new giant bottle of extra virgin olive oil and mixed it all together. I was at my whits end. These two sooooo knew not to do this. In fact, a few weeks earlier they had done the same thing on a much smaller scale and been punished for it (last time it was only the flours and water).

We called the boys into the garage for a talk.
Their side: We wanted to bake a cake. We were making a cake.
Did you know this was a bad idea? "Yes. But we like baking..." said 4 year old Everett.
"Then lets bake your cake," I said. Everett looked horrified. I calmly walked to the oven and turned it on. Then I pored as much of that nasty stuff as I could fight into my biggest cake pan. "There is too much here to bake. Would you guys like some of the leftovers?" Everett, still looking in shock, shook his head no. Caedmon said he wanted some. I put some in a bowl for Caed, but he didn't try it.
When the cake was done, I put two pieces on the table for my boys and spaghetti on the table for Seren, Dan, and myself. The boys didn't say a word for a long time. Finally, Everett asked for some spaghetti. "Sorry, honey. I don't want to wast all that stuff. It is going to cost me a lot of money to replace all the things you boys used today. So I think you will need to eat this until it is gone."
Everett look beyond puzzled. "But we don't know how to make a cake," he said.
"So remember not to try to bake without mommy helping. Mommy does know how." my husband responded.
"I want to try it." Said Caed.
"Go ahead, Caed. I tried it," I told him,"it isn't very good."
Caed picked up a piece with his fork.
"NOOO! DON"T CAED! IT'S POISON!! WE MADE A POISON CAKE!" shouted Everett. It was all I could do to not laugh.
"It isn't poison. Only yucky."
Caed tried the cake. Then drink a lot of water. "It taste like yucky dough." He told Everett.
But there was no convincing Everett.

When the boys woke up the next morning, they asked for oatmeal. I reminded them about the cake. All our oatmeal was in that cake. They decided breakfast no longer sounded good. So i gave then both a giant cup of milk.

I also sent a piece of this cake with Everett to preschool. Harsh? No. Not if you know Everett. He need this bounder set firm. After I dropped Everett off at his class, I found the preschool director and told her what had happened and what was in Everett's lunch box. I also apologized for having not reminded Everett about this being his lunch and explained my feelings about this boundary. It wasn't that I wanted Everett to eat only this cake, but I couldn't give him any thing else yet. The director got a laugh about it and said she would be glad to help out.

When I picked up the boy's, I found out that the director had lunch in Everett's class. She said when he opened up the Tupperware and saw the cake inside, his eyes about popped out of his head. She questioned him about it, but he didn't want to talk. Thinking the cake looked pretty good, she asked for a bit (I promise I told her what was in it!!). Her report: that was the nastiest stuff ever. Like baked throw-up. She also shared her lunch with Everett. (My boys go to the BEST preschool, boy the way.)

When the boy's got home, I told them I had thrown out the cake. I told them that any time they ever did something like this again, there would be similar consequences. And I hugged them and offered them some real food. So far, we haven't had another pantry raid.
(But before this they took the eggs! Now I remember! The "stinky cat food"!! I will write that next time.)

More stories about my boys

AKA- the partners in crime. My boys are truly amazing. They are determined, dedicated, persistent, creative, smart, and incredibly strong. They aren't afraid of anything (except monsters at night) and haven't met a challenge they are unwilling to pursue. I truly believe God has big plans for those two little men in in the making. But parenting them is no picnic. As much as I love them and feel a deep sense of honor in being given the responsibility of raising them, they push me right onto the edge of my sanity line. To give you a bit of insight into my world as their Mother, and to give myself some comic relief, I will attempt to recall some of the most challenging and scary moments I have faced raising my 5 and 4 year old boys to date.

February 2004
Everett was almost 1 and Seren, my daughter was 2 1/2. It was a Friday at our house in Austin. I know it was a Friday because Fridays were trash and recycle days for our neighborhood back then. After feeding the kids breakfast, I went to my room to go to the bathroom. Even moms have to take potty breaks once in awhile. We may be able to warred of sickness and see things with the backs of our heads, but we are, after all, still human. Maybe 2 minutes after I lift my kids playing in the living area, Seren comes into my bathroom and says, "Mommy, Everett is walking in the street."
"Well tell him no, no. We can't walk in the street," I say thinking Seren is playing a game. We play lots of pretend games like that with our children to help them learn about safety. Seren ran out of the bathroom. She was back in less then a minute.
"I told him, but he's not listening to me." (Side note. Seren is very verbal. At the age of 1 she asked a friend of mine, "Do you have cheese in the fridge, 'cause I like cheese." My friend and I got a kick out of it)
At this point I had the stomach turning thought that this might not be a game. I flew out of my bathroom, down the hall, and through the OPENED FRONT DOOR. My sweet little 11 month old was waddling down the middle the street, empty gallon of milk in hand, clad only in his little Bummies diaper, and headed straight for the recycle truck. This tiny little guy had unlocked and opened the front door all by himself. I was shocked! Seren, while capable of unlocking bolted doors, would never have done so. She knew, some how, not to. But Everett...he will try anything. I called my husband and told him what had happened. By 6pm that evening we had chains on the top of all doors that exited out house.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My training log has disappeared. I suspect this is just a computer problem that will be fixed soon. I don't want to lose the last 2 or so years of my training logs. :( But if it is really gone, so be it. I will post my workout from this morning here for now. And hope I get to log it else where later.
WARNING: BORING TO READ.
(Side note: Has anyone ever tried crunching up Club crackers and eating them in ice cream? I promise it is GOOD!)

It was raining this morning. McAllister was muddy, had two creek crossings, and more rain coming off and on (mostly on) for my run. I had wanted to run 16 miles today, but my legs were feeling tired so I planed on 14 instead. Or at least 12. After running 9 easy miles on the muddy trails(1:15:35), I decided to head to a track and run a few 600s just to see how my legs felt. I drove to the track, ran an 800 to let my legs feel "track" after muddy trail, and started the 600s. It was pouring rain now, and I kept having to pull my skirt up. That skirt was heavy wet- good to know- I won't race in that one! I ran 5 600s with 200 recovery's (2:29, 2:27, 2:24, 2:22, 2:22) and then did 2 miles for a cool down(38:12 total for 5). My 600s were way slow for me, but I will blame it mostly on the rain and heat (it was 79 degrees and 100% humidity. OK. The weather folks said 89%) . Also, they were a bit long b/c I had to run in lane 3 on one of the turns b/c of football bleachers on the track. And my skirt weighed like 8pounds. All told, it was an OK hot and humid Texas run of 14miles. What I would give to live in a cooler place. Maybe some day.

Friday, October 3, 2008

The Green Belt

Wednesday night I meet a group of Team Traverse peeps in Austin to do a hilly trail run. Why I was in Austin on Wednesday is another story. But it ends with "Yeah! We have renters!"
Back to the run.
We were supposed to meet at the HOL at 6:00pm. I left Seattle's Best at 5pm thinking I could get a few miles in before the other guy's showed up. But I hadn't counted on the traffic I hit on I-35. While I was sitting In traffic, I dug my trail shoes out of my bag and discovered I had brought two left shoes. Darn. Luckily I had some LaSpoertiva's in the trunk. I had been wanting to try them out. Guess I would get to tonight.I didn't get there until a little past 6, and everyone had gone except for Joe.
Joe waited for me to park and we ran down the HOL together. Then he told me to head up a certain trail intersection and take all lefts. The others went the other way and were taking rights, so I would meet them somewhere on the trails. After about 1.75miles I ran into Pete and Josue. Turning around, I followed them back to the intersection.
On the second loop, I rolled my ankle pretty bad on a steep rocky section. I told Josue I was going to slow down. I just didn't feel safe running a bit hard in the shoes I had on. I figured I would keep taking the appropriate turns and hit the intersection again soon. After a few miles had gone buy, I realized I was running loops and not hitting the right intersection. I decided to go out on a limb and take a new turn. I had run just under 8 miles at this point and I knew I needed to get back soon- the sun was setting. Somewhere around 9.5miles, I felt a panic rising inside. The sunlight was just about gone, I had reached the top of a hill, and I hadn't a clue where I was. There was a stone wall to my left and a beautiful view of a highway below to my right. I figured my best bet was to run down this hill. Keeping the wall to my left, I ran down the trail as hard as I could. After a short while I hit another intersection. There was a fence straight ahead. First, I turned right. Then I changed my mind and turned back the other way. I looked at my GPS and saw I had now been running for 1hr 30minutes. Less then a minute later I hit another fence. There was no way to go but the way I had come from. I ran with the fence to my left. The sun light was gone, but I was running hard down hill. I figured (hoped) I would hit the creek or a neighbor hood and find safety. But I was scared. Crazy people have been reported in this place. Weird things happen here. And this was only my second time running here. I hadn't a clue where I really was. Soon I saw a light in front of me. I called out, and Pete answered. Boy was I relieved! I didn't think the guys would leave me, but I didn't expect to be found either. Pete seemed as relived as I felt. He said Joe and the other guys where looking for me, too. I followed Pete down the trail for a little while until we ran into TJ. Then TJ and I headed to the bottom of the HOL while Pete went back out to find Josue, Joe, and Larry. I think Pete must have found me about 40minutes before the other guys came back.
I have to say I felt quite cared for. I figured Joe would wait for me, maybe go look for me, but I never expected the other guys to join in. And I greatly appreciate their concern. Afterward we all hung out at Joe's truck, had Beer and water, and took a couple of pictures. I think it turned out to be a good experience. I learned that I will not run alone in the Green Belt until I know that place better. And I learned that I have very caring teammates. I feel so blessed to be a part of this Team. We are all just getting to know each other and I am liking everyone more and more. If any of you guys read this, THANK YOU!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Bandera and Lost Mapels

This weekend was my high school reunion. It was also a scheduled running weekend for me. I needed to pick what I'd do and what I'd miss.
I decided to miss the Friday night run for the homecoming football game and drive out to Bandera Saturday morning and miss the reunion.
The football game was a lot of fun. Dan and I took our kids. They loved it. We also got to see a few people from high school. It was kinda funny, because the people we saw went to high school with me and middle school with Daniel. I would have liked to see a few other people. Maybe some other time.
Running at HCSP on Saturday was great! I ran somewhere around 26miles. My GPS sucks, so it could have been more. Daniel ran a lot of that with me, as did my team mate TJ from Austin. Joe, our coach, set out a couple of water coolers and sign in/out sheets to keep track of all the runners. Joe also marked a 7ish mile loop for us and gave us all water proof maps. Dan, TJ, TJ's friend (Jim??), and myself decided to add Lucky's onto that loop in order to get in the most hills per mile. Fun stuff. Lucky is one steep climb,..ur...run. After finishing one of the 7ish loops (my GPS said 7.2. Another said 7.9 and another runner (who skipped Lucky) got 7.48 every loop), Tj, Dan and I headed over to Ice Cream Hill for more big hills. It was all great. I think I would love to spend over 4 hrs every Saturday on trails with friends. During Dan and my's second 7ish loop, I decided I would run up Carrien's Climb and then turn around until I found Dan. I ran .5miles back down that sweet climb and realized Daniel had likely skipped this hill. So back up it and down the other side I went! Dan was at the cooler waiting for me. "That's awesome!", Dan said when I told him what had happened. "You wanted to get in lots of hills and extra miles." He was right. I wasn't mad about it. But I wouldn't have done Carrien's twice in a row any other way!
The next morning, the stars were breath taking! I have missed seeing the starts in a clear black sky more then I knew. After packing up, we headed over to Lost Maples. What a spectacular park! This place was more then beautiful with It's dense trees, steep hills, rocky climbs, creek crossings, twisty trails, and occasional dry rocky creek bed trails. And we soooo lucked out with the weather. It was actually chilly all morning! I can hardly wait to go back!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

September 24th

This morning was a little crazy. All the kids got to bed late, so Dan and I decided we would let them sleep in and then Dan would drive them to school. Normally Dan bikes with Seren and Everett to school. But Caedmon decided he didn't need to sleep in...he was up at 6:30 as usual. Seren, on the other hand, had to be dressed while still sleeping at 7:00.

Once Dan was off to work and Seren and Everett at elementary school, I proceeded to get Caedmon ready for preschool and myself ready for a run. I was excited to run on some measured trails by his school for my fartlek run. But I couldn't find my Timex- only my GPS. My GPS SUCKS on trails. Blah. I know it is mental, but I can't run hard when that thing is bouncing back lies to me. So I searched way too long for my missing Timex. The result? By the time I gave up looking for it, Caed was going to be late. In my hurried state I buckled him into the car sans shoes. Gurrr.

Being we were already at Target buying another pair of size 10.5 little boys shoes (that child has big feet!) , I grabbed another watch. And a Starbucks. (I am such an addict.)

Now back to the car. Only it wouldn't start!!!!!! I called my mom to come give us a jump. By the time we finally got the car going it was after 10am. I looked in the passenger set and saw the "Froggie Snack Bag". This was my week to bring snack. I had the snack... but in the car and not at the school yet. Snack time is 10:10am. Will we make it? Barely...maybe. All this because I wanted my darn Timex.

I had a marvelous run after this. For any non runner who stumbles upon this, "fartlek" is a Swedish word meaning speed play. It is a great way to get in speed work on trails or roads. I ran 4min hard 2min easy X 14 plus warm up and cool down. It was a bit hot out, but this is Texas. It could have been (and often is) hotter. I just LOVE running!!!!! And trails are the best! My leg is still feeling 100% great. My foot is getting better and not worse. I am happy, happy, happy. Yeah for being able to run! So far this week I have run 2 times (25miles total), done weights once, yoga once, and 50mins on a PreCore. This is close to where I had my running before I got hurt. After this weekend, I might have my mileage back up to normal. If not, it will be close. :) Thank you God for running!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Recovery!

I am finally getting better! I did my first real tempo run in weeks and feel even better after then I did before. Happy day.

This weekend is my 10 year high school reunion. I thought I would want to go. But I kinda don't. It seems like there is really no reason to go. Most of my friends from high school were from church. And I'm not sure if the few friends I had that graduated with me at school will even be there. That part of my life is so much my past. If there was nothing else going on this weekend I would go anyway. But I could camp out with some running buddies this weekend and do lots of tough trails.
I think running beats the reunion...would I regret not going??? I only have a few days to decide.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My leg is getting better :) Last night I ran some great trails with Larry and TJ up in Austin. Today my leg is still feeling good. My foot is only OK- but no worse. Progress!

I went to Austin yesterday morning to pay the paint man and clean our rental house so we could list it. The painters did an average job. I won't complain, but I won't brag on them either. Going into the cleaning job, I thought I could clean the whole house in 2 or so hours. Boy was I off! I cleaned from about 11:20am until 3:30pm with out so much as a potty break. Then I went to Target for lunch, bought throw away cleaning supplies because the wash cloths I brought needed to be cleaned after EVERY wipe (can you say pet hair- grouse and sticky). I cleaned another whole hour, took a 2 run break from 5:30 to 8, and finally finished about 11pm. I cleaned for 8 hours! Actually cleaned! And that house isn't even that clean now. Next time a renter has pets, the deposit is going up per pet. And how is it that a grown man can have such horrid aim? Guys should set down and point. Standing clearly requires more mental energy then some are willing to give it.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Life

I should be totally bummed. Some how I am not. Disappointed, a bit nervous...but still feeling upbeat about life. This past week we found out our renter in our house in Austin lost his job. Apparently the job market in Austin isn't great, because he choose to break his lease and move back to his home town. So our rental house is vacant. Anyone interested? It is a well taken care of 3 bed room house with a large backyard (oh how I miss that yard!) and too many other things I like about it to list. Our (sorta ex)renter knows he is responsible for this lease until a new renter is found...we will see how things go.
And I am injured. I don't want to be, but I so am. This is quite a downer. I am surprised I'm not falling into a deep depression over this one. I have had to cut way back on my running, and as a result my jeans are not so comfy currently. Maybe I will go buy some new jeans. But wait...I am currently in no financial position to buy cloths. Maybe I will give up brownies and cakes until I am better (oh, that is doubtful). Hummm......how to eat junk food, run less, and have jeans that fit without buying new jeans....not coming up with anything...
On the happy front: I am almost finished arranging my newest song. Woo-hoo. I love it when I am able to get what is in my head out for my ears to hear.
Caedmon starts preschool tomorrow. That means I will have most of 3 days a week to myself! Oh, I can hardly take the excitement!!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I am bummed. My leg just isn't back to its self yet. and I am tiered of this mileage cut. I want to run as much as I feel like running!! Gurrr. I think I will go running again tonight, even though I ran my (short) tempo this morning before yoga. Maybe I will feel better if I run more. Maybe My leg has tapper pains, not injury pains. Guess there's only one way to find out. I will go for a run!!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pedernales Race

It was a great evening for a race. The rain we were getting off and on through out the day Saturday had the temperature down in the 80s, and there was a great chance of more cooling rain through out the night. Daniel and I left Chucky Cheese about 4pm, dropped our 3 treasures off with my mom, and headed out to Pedernales. We stopped at Target for sandwiches and Starbucks on the way. I had my favorite- Turkey with Brie on a roll and the biggest Carmel Frappuccino Light Starbucks makes. The race started at 7pm. Dan and I had plenty of time to get our tent set up, check in, change in to our running gear, and drop our bags off at the start/ turnaround before beginning our run.

I ran the first 5ish miles with my teammate Dalton. We were both thrilled with the weather and excited about the rain that poured on us for about 5mins after the first 1/2 hour. The midway aid station was 5miles from the start going clock wise, 3.5 from the counter clockwise direction. I dropped one bottle at this station and kept going, leaving the group I had been with behind. This next section of the course was the trickiest. Going clockwise, it was a great section to pick up the pace for a bit. If you felt like it, there were some good down hills to run hard. But this section was also very muddy for a large part. Not the slippery mud they have out west. This mud was true Texas mud. The kind that can suck your shoes off or make you several inches taller if your shoes stay on. The kind that has you jumping up in the air and doing strange leg kicks to hopefully knock a few pounds off your feet. Going up hill in on this part was a mind tackler. But running down it was a blast.

The first 23ish mile passed quickly. I was having a great time running in what was unbelievably cool weather for August in Texas. The rain clouds covered the moon at this point, but my lights were working great. And I was thrilled with how well I felt. No puckish feelings, my mind was strong, and I felt great. Aside from having had to back track a minute or so after starting lap 2 to get my lights I had forgotten, things was going well. I could tell my electrolytes were a bit low, though, because my quads were feeling tighter then they should. No one I asked had electrolyte tablets, so I drank my Gatorade E instead of water at the turnarounds and ate ShotBlocks and Hammer Gels for more electrolytes.

About mile 24, when I was taking advantage of how great I felt on a down hill stretch, I landed on a rock. It felt like my foot was shoved into my ankle. Like the space between my ankle and my foot ceased to exist. I am use to rolling my ankles on the trail. Normally I roll an ankle and just keep going. It might hurt a little for a few minutes, but I'm back to 100% quickly. When I reached the turnaround at 25.5 miles, I got what I needed and headed out again- counter clockwise for lap 4. My ankle was still hurting. This had me worried. But I figured there was a good chance I could run it out. So I kept running.

As the miles added on, my ankle felt no better. I tried slowing down in hopes that an easier pace would help me feel better. No such luck. I finished lap 4 with pain radiating from my hip down to my ankle.

At the turn around Brad fixed me a bucket of ice water to stick my foot in and gave me some Alive (?) to keep the swelling down. I iced my foot off and on for about 15mins. My ankle truly felt better, but the rest of my leg didn't. But I really didn't want to stop. Deep down I knew doing another lap could be be a bad idea. But I wanted to do 3 more laps-not stop after 4. I decided to do another lap easy to see how I felt. If I still had leg pain after lap 5, I would call it a night.

I finished lap five feeling at least as injured as I did after lap 4. :( What a bummer. I finished 5 laps for 42.5 miles in 8ish hours. And that needed to be it. I didn't want to stop. But I didn't want to hurt my body long term either. I needed to stop before I was hurting even worse.

Stopping after 8hrs was tough. But I know it was the right decision. I still don't like it, but I needed to stop. I owe a big thank you to Joe (my coach) and Rochelle (fellow ultra runner) for their encouragement to stop. Left solely to me, I might be hobbling around the house for a few weeks instead of actively recovering from this. It is funny how I can be so stupid about some things. Though I have a feeling that same stupidity is largely responsible for much of my success. What irony.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I am having a boring day today. It isn't that there is nothing to do today. I just don't feel like doing any of the things I could do. Currently the dish washer is running, the wash machine going,workout cloths are cleaned and hanging to dry, all 3 of the kids have put up 15 toys a piece (in increments of 5), and I am sitting on the couch in my PJs (maybe I shouldn't admit that). There are more toys to put away, floors to sweep, the kids bathroom to clean, and laundry to finish. I wish I needed to go shopping today. I like that part of my job best.
It's back to work I go. But first I'll check my email.

Monday, July 21, 2008

12 hour night trail run

Saturday night I ran my first timed event. This was also my first night run. And the first time in my life I stayed up past 4am with out falling asleep at some point earlier in the night. My biggest feeling after doing this? Whoa. That was tough.

Disclaimer: My memories of this event are fuzzy. The following is an "as best as I can remember it" account.

The race started at 7pm Saturday evening. It was a hot and humid 98 degrees at the start. My tummy was feeling over full from the 44oz of Power Aid I had drunk over the last hour and the yummy Marble Slab waffle cone I ate around 3:20. Who would have thought coconut ice cream with blueberries could take that long to digest?? I planed on running the first 7.o mile lap a little hard to get in some miles before sunset. But I was making sure to still keep it in the easy range. My sour stomach made it easy to stay in the right range.

The course was rockier and hiller then expected, but I finished loop 1 in 1:01, with a guy named Matt. We had run together some at the Bandera 100k back in January, and I figured we might be able to run most of this race together. About half a mile into lap two, I realized I hadn't grabbed my head lamp at the start area. I politely explained my predicament to Matt, who let me lead the way through lap 2 faster then either of us wanted. But I almost made it! I was only stuck running blind for a half mile or so.

During the first 3 laps my tummy (on up to my mouth) was feeling awful b/c of reflux. That ice cream was not tasting so great now. I kept toying with the idea of walking off the trail and leaving that ice cream behind. But I was scared of getting my electrolytes out of whack. So I tried hard to keep what was in my tummy in my body. I was also scared to add anything to the mix. So I only ate 1 pack of Shot Blocks and drank ice water for those first 3 laps (and 1 electrolyte tab.). After lap 3, I drank a Red Bull. A bold move- given the state of my tummy. But it seemed to help. I stuck another package of Shot Blocks in my pocket and headed out for lap 4.

Running lap 4 was super hard. My thoughts were full of the enjoyment of stopping after 6hrs. They had beer and pizza back at the loop head. And my tummy was still not 100%. But I knew if I stopped after 5 laps (6 hrs- which was still over 2 hrs away), I would still be considered a 12hr runner. Blah. Maybe 3 miles in to this lap I decided to let myself slow down. I ditched the "how far can I go" goal and focused on how much I love running and being out doors. It was cooling off some now. There was a light breeze that smelled just divine. And the sky looked amazing. The peacefulness of being alone with my own thoughts on the dark trail was more of an enjoyment then I expected. I turned off my hand-held LED, stuck it in my pocket, and power walked for the next mile. What a change. What a refreshing change. After that mile, I was ready to run some more. But I decided to keep my hand-held off and run by head light alone. I know this slowed me down, but that is what I wanted.

Before starting lap 5, I switched my hand held light for a hand held water bottle. My tummy was finally feeling better, and I was ready to give some highly iced Gatorade a shot. I had eaten a whole pack of Shot Blocks on that last lap, so I grabbed 2 more electrolyte tablets, drunk some water and stuck a package of Hammer Gel in my pocket. Focusing on enjoying the night and not thinking about pace was feeling wonderful. I did a lot of fast walking and a little fast running. As well as some slow running. All told, I was having a great time.

The last 6 hrs of this race were, in most every way, easier than the first six. It was cooler out, my tummy was feeling better, and I was enjoying myself. I was also pleased with the fact that my legs weren't cramping up at all (Thank you to my friend Meredith!). I say my tummy was better, but not good enough to eat real food. I stuck with gels, Gatorade, electrolyte tablets, and water for the rest of the race.
The only things worse off during the last half? My pace and my toes. I took it slow through the start/ finish area every time- maybe slower the last half. And I made a couple port-o-potty stops (I didn't want to be bitten by an unseen creature in the dark). But I don't remember the details. At one point during the first 6 hrs, I had grabbed a handful of ice. I stuck a few in my mouth to eat and was rubbing some on my face and neck to cool of. When I had eaten the ones in my mouth, I looked at the ones in my hand, thought of the gnats and dirt all over my body and likely on the ice, and said what the hay. And ate the ice.

One other thing. I had my first real wipe out. It didn't hurt much. And I had my hand held light strapped to my wrist to keep from losing it. So I was able to get up and go right away. Mostly I was worried about the dirt on my hands finding its way into my eyes (darn contacts). But I was able to wipe them off at the aid station.

My husband said I left out the part were I won. :) So here it is.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I love running. And I am really starting to feel like an ultra runner. Last night I decided to run 30 miles. I know I am a bit crazy, b/c I ran it on a treadmill.....it was raining (thunder and lightning) and very muggy out. I wanted to run, and I figured using a treadmill would give me a better mental workout. I think my mental game is down right now. I need to work on mental strength maybe even more then I need to work on endurance or speed at this point. So off to the gym I went. I forced my self to go slow for the first hour- taking 1:01:21 to get to 7.5miles. The treadmill I was running on only let me run up to 1:02 at a time, so I had to restart about every hour. After the second hour (7.75 in 1:01:39- still slower then I felt like going), I refilled my water bottles and started again. I think it took me maybe 2mins total stopping to do this. When I run on a treadmill, I keep the incline at 1% (higher if I want hills, duh). I started into the third hour-ish set feeling even better then I had the 1st hour. This sorts puzzled me. Why do I feel looser and stronger after running over 15 miles???? At this point, I told myself if I run at lest 25miles I could have a cold beer with my dinner at home. After running 23 miles (last 7.75 in 1:00:08), I wanted to run a few hard miles. Really, I wanted to run harder then I did. But I don't want to push a long run like a race, so I didn't let myself run under 7min miles. When I got to 29miles, I told myself I HAD to run the next mile easy to cool down. If I was racing I would have pushed hard for 2 more miles, but this was a workout. I finished the last 7 miles in 52:22, feeling ready to stop but knowing I hadn't pushed my limits.

I think I will try to race my next ultra this way. Taking it super easy at first and then kicking hard at the end. I have a lot of leg strength, and I think kicking it in will work for me. I know treadmills are tons easier then running trails. But I still feel like I can run much better in a race then I have yet. I want to figure out how to get everything in line to race well. Maybe I just need more experience. But I do plan on getting this all figured out.

Oh how I love running.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This morning my husband was almost killed by a drunk driver. The guy swerved no more then 2 feet from hitting Daniel (as reported by Dan), and hit the median, blowing out 2 of his tires. Daniel was shaken to the max. He went over to the guy, who got out of his car, and Dan asked the guy if he was ok. The guy kept apologizing, saying, "I just didn't see you," and, "you came out of no where." Daniel assured the guy the he had been in that lane for about 10mins, and was well let up- 3 lights visible from the back. The guy smelt strongly of alcohol. Dan kept telling the guy to promise not to drive drunk again. But the guy only would say sorry. After a couple of minutes, the guy said he had a cell phone, got into his car, and speed off- on his flat tires. Daniel called 911 at this point, but was too shaken to have the plate numbers or make of the guys car.
I am just glad Daniel wasn't hit! I do hope the guy gets cought before he kills someone- if that is what it takes to stop him. I am praying he gets help before that point. Daniel has desided he will no onger take his bike out before 4:30am. I had been pushing for this all along. Praise God he made this dession with out being hurt!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Forest Park 50k was such a blast! A big thunder storm blow in Saturday night, and there was a light-moderate rain during almost the whole race on Sunday. The course was muddy the whole way and slippery in spots. It was just a perfect almost cold morning for a trail race. Daniel and I showed up at the start an hour or more before hand. But being Portland time is 2 hours behind Texas, we had already had a long leisurely morning. The day before we walked all over Portland trying to figure out the best way to get to the Lower Macleay trail head. Turned out we could walk 3 blocks from out hotel to the #15 bus stop, which runs every 15 minutes. That bus dropped us off 2 blocks from the start of the race. Just perfect. So on race morning we grabbed Starbucks (Mocha Soy latte and a turkey pesto sandwich) and headed to the bus stop.

The race started at 8:30am. Wendel (one of the RD's) went over the course directions and how to read the markings before we took off. The first 10k went by at just the right pace. Running through Forest Park was like running in a fairy-tale land. The trees were tall and dense, and there was a light fog in parts. The trails were the perfect kind of muddy for running on, and the few rocks on the course didn't even move when stepped on. Everything around us was lush.

I reached the first aid station (10k) in 55 minutes. Shortly after leaving that aid station, I came to an odd intersection. There where orange streamers to the right, but they weren't stripped. Wendel was very clear in saying all turns were marked with stripped streamers. While I stood there, course directions in hand, 3 guys and 1 girl rounded the corner. We all decided the streamers were likely moved, and headed in a diffrent (and the right) direction. This happened a few more times during the second 10k. In fact, I was just sure we were off course before we came upon aid station 2 (20k-1:51 after the start).

I left the 20k running hard, b/c my legs were feeling good and I wanted to try and finish fast. As it turned out, there was a giant muddy down hill that evened out the hard running I was doing on the other parts of this section. That muddy down hill was great! At first I was sorta shuffling down the side, keeping my feet partly on grass and grabbing hold of trees. But I took an awesome roll, and decided to change my approach. The guy in front of me had been skiing on his feet. I gave that a try. And I wiped out. To prevent farther injury to myself, I decided the sledding approach would be best. So I sat down and slid.

I made it to the 30k aid station in 2:46. Another 55 minute 10k. My legs were still feeling good, so I tried to keep pushing. When I reached the 40k, my watch said 3:42. I left my totally soaked shirt and my waist pack at that aid station and headed out for the finale 10k. I was running hard and extremely excited to be doing well. I hit a few miss marked intersections, but the guy in front of me helped me out. One time I was about to turn the wrong way when a guy came from that direction and said, "Go that way." Apparently he had taken a wrong turn and was back tracking. With maybe 2 or 3 miles to go, I took a wrong turn. I realized it when the down hill section I had just pounded out opened up into a neighborhood. I looked back the way I came, and said forget it. This is my biggest regret through this race. I should have booked it back up that hill and gone the right way. But I didn't. I was too mad at myself for having been careless. So I followed the course markings for what ever course I was now on. Truthfully I hopped it would lead me back to the start and I could get a DNF and some food. Instead it lead me back up the hill and onto the 50k course. Only now I was getting to back track. Oh joy. Being in a rotten mood, I was walking and wishing for a helicopter. If I could have walked off the course at this point I would have. But I had no choice in the matter. I had to follow the 50k course through the finish.

Shortly before reaching the finish line, I was feeling much better. Sure I had blown the race and made a classic rookie mistake in not turning around. But I AM a rookie. This was my 4th ultra and 6th trail race ever. I still have much to learn. And I learned a lot at this race. Plus I had a blast. I run trails because I LOVE running trails. Not because I'm fast and not to win. I love running fast, and I do want to try to win. But those aren't the reasons I'm out there running. I run because I love to run. I am sorta glad I didn't win. If I had, I might have lost sight of why I'm a runner.

Not only that, but I am super glad I was able to learn:
1. Know your course. Course markings are to help, not lead.
2. Turnaround as soon as you realize you are off course.
I am now on a racing team. And it feels good to know I will be a better runner for my team and our sponsor's in the future, having learned what I have now, before I am running for them.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tomorrow I will start a meal log using jott. I am so not looking forward to this. But it seems to be the only way to figure out how much of what I should eat when. Right now I am very off and on about eating healthy. Some days I do great. Other days....I eat candy for breakfast and ice cream for dinner. It is just so hard for me to cut out the junk when I am not "over" weight. But I know my running will improve if I can eat better regularly. So I am going to try this. Uck.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Prickly Pear 50k

Running the Prickly Pear yesterday was sooooo much fun! The race started at 7:00 am, in the dark. I lined up just behind a group of guys, one of whom was wearing the yellow lead jersey. The weather was perfect- crisp and cool. I ran a bit behind the lead guys for a couple miles before they picked it up even more and were out of site. To my surprise, I rounded a tight corner less then 30 minutes later to see a guy peeing on the trail. He ran off just in front of me. A couple of minutes after that I came up to the whole group of guys. They had slowed quite a bit, and I hopped passed them on a down hill stretch. But all 3 of them stayed right on me. Around mile 8 I told them they were welcome to pass any time. One of the guys said, "Thats alright. I figure the footing is better a few feet behind you." Then he repeated this comment to his buddies....(hu???)...who laughed....(okay..).

The four of us finished loop one together, with me in the lead. As we were leaving the aid station, one of the guys said he was finished. The other 2 guys asked me if I wanted to lead. I told them to go on ahead. Boy did they! I didn't see them again until I came in to finish loop 2. My splits for the first 2 loops were the same, and I got out of that station about 2 or 3 minutes after the lead guy. The other guy had only planed on running 2 loops of the 50k, so there was only one runner ahead of me.

By this time it was HOT out. My legs were cramping, and Amanda (my coach) gave me extra electrolytes and pinned some Shot Blocks on my shorts. I had hoped to run the first 2 laps in about 1:20 and the last one faster. So far I was on pace. But I wasn't sure about running faster for lap 3 with the cramping and heat.

Just before mile 4 of lap 3 (mile 25ish), I passed the lead guy. He was walking in a hot, unshaded section and said, "Go get it" with a smile. So I kept going. I was running quite a bit slower now- almost one minute a mile slower then I wanted. But I did what I could, and fought the urge to slow my pace further. I finished in 4:08:14- first female and first finisher . :)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Gosh, I'm just feeling so down lately. I don't even know why. I don't want to clean my house. I don't want to eat good foods. Or drink water. Or even sing. Blah. What is wrong with me??? My running is suffering too. My mindset is just bad. I need to snap out of this funk before I gain 15 pounds, give up speed work, and have more house work then any one person can handle in a day.

I have been kinda sick with a sines infection for over a week now. My head, ears, and jaw are in such pain. But no fever yet. I almost wish I would just get a fever so I can get some antibiotics and get well.

Hum....maybe that is really what is wrong. My body is just a bit sick, so I am in a funk. Well snap out, Aniejoy!!!! Snap out.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

When I started a blog, I wanted to write at least once a week. But that just isn't happening yet. I guess writing some is better then none. I will try to write more often. But I just don't feel like writing right now. Be warned.

On January 5th I ran the Bandera 100k, my second ultra. Dan and I stayed at a little ranch 9miles out side of Bandera. On race morning, we arrived at the race at 7:20am-10min before the start. I barely made it through the porto line when Joe (the RD) said "GO!". After running to the tent and yelling, "Number 54 is here!!", I ran to the starting line, asked a lady if she could validate my check in, and took off. A couple miles before reaching the 1st aid station I meet a guy named Dalten. He said I beat him last year by a few minutes, and he wanted to do better this year. His buddies gave him a hard time about having been beat by a girl. He was great company for the next 40 miles. We talked a lot and took turns leading up the trails. But the heat was getting to him, and he had to stop to try and get his hydration situation settled. Boy, it did get hot out there! I think the high was 76. After all the cold weather we have had, 76 felt quit hot! Especially since there was no cloud cover. But I am still grateful for the dry ground and the fact that it wasn't any hotter then it was.

The first 50k flew by in 5:05:02 (opps...). My quads were feeling the pounding I had given them and were cramping up pretty bad by the time I reached the lodge (50k). But I knew I needed to just keep going. I wanted to call it a day, but I didn't. I kept telling myself I would run to at least one more aid station. It got dark about 10:45 into the race, maybe 4 miles from the finish line. I turned on my headlight and kept running hard, finishing in 11:25:45. About 7 minutes short of a course record. Well, I did what I could do this year. Hopefully next year I will be faster.