My blog

2010-12-09T15:22:00.000-08:00

How He loves us
This song has been stuck in my head today. It has never been a favorite of mine, but someday's it just hits home harder then others.
"I don't have time to maintain my regrets, when I think about the way He loves us."
Today, that made me laugh. The pure truth of God's love forcing me to bend in His storm. I guess that's a good thing.

2010

2010-12-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

I went to Borders tonight and bought some new staff paper. While I am emotionally attached to my first music journal (A high school present from a close friend, now my husband) and don't want to fill it up, I emotionally avoid my loose staff paper (transposing and ear training relived), and really have no clue where it all ended up when we moved in July. I decided I'd looked hard enough and bought new staff paper.
Walking through the store and smelling all those books brought back strong memories of this time last year. So much has happened over the past 12 months, it is a bit over whelming. I feel like the same me who lived last year only completely different. Last December I had no plans to run any shorter ultras or try to get on the 100k USA Track and Field Team. By April, I had placed 3erd in the National Championship and was only an announcement away from being on the USATF 100k team for 2010. So crazy. I wanted to achieve this goal. I never imagined it before February and never expected it so fast. I also never imagined I would be injured for as long as I have been. So close and yet so far. All the things that 2010 held ready for me to put on have been hard blessings. Mental training. Character building. And completely unexpected.
I remember browsing Barnes and Nobles last December feeling lost, even hopeless. I picked up a book, flipped through, and something inside me said, "Don't waist your time. Its hopeless." So much of me believed that little voice. And I gave up. But I still ran. I trained, cleaned, cooked, smiled and I was fine...at least that's what I told myself. I have such a good life. So much to be thankful for. So many things I love are tangible and feel-able. Why waste thoughts on things I know are out of my control? Just live. I lived. Only God is bigger and more beautiful then the mountains I love so much. And His love is fierce.
I'd have to say I entered 2010 broken. As I sat broken I saw so much. I changed so much, moved so much and did nothing. As I am leaving 2010, I don't think I'm still broken. Maybe I'm in a fire. Maybe I'm just hot and malleable from having been in a fire. As hard as it is for me to feel soft and weak and unformed, I wouldn't trade the gift of this year anything. I get to start 2011 filled with Hope. More love, more joy, more peace.
There is such freedom in Hope.

My Babies

2010-11-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

Almost 5 months ago I injured my foot and have been unable to run. When I first had to stop all running, I thought I might go crazy. But something had been nagging on my mind even before my injury. I realized that where my spirit was and what my body did were not matching up. As much as I love running, it truly isn't what gives my the most joy and satisfaction in life. Yet I spent hours daily on improving my athletic ability and hours monthly on something that means so much more to me. Music. I decided to stop this inconstancy and spend more time on my music. The results have been thrilling. Doors are opening up in places I never expected. And I am growing tremendously as a result. Below is a link to a little video I did of me playing a song on the guitar for my kids. I know I am bad at the guitar. But I only first picked it up in September and I can play! Maybe in a few more months I will be up to ok, which is thrilling to me. This song I wrote for my babies I wrote as an exercise in song writing. I want to be a good writer, so I figure what better way to write well then to practice, right? I set my timer for 7minutes and came out with this. When my guitar skills are better, I have more songs that took more effort to write that I want to play. For now, a lot of those songs have too many chords for this newbie. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zExUOLUKvp4

Wow! 10 years!!

2010-08-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted on here in awhile. Partly because I started a new blog here. The new blog is meant to be more running focused while this one is going to be more family focused. Of course I can't do that 100%, but for the most part that is my plan. Other reasons for no posts are a recent move across town and summer break. Having all 3 kids 24-7 keeps me busy!

Ten years ago today I married my wonderful husband. Well, actually, 10 years ago yesterday. Legally, our anniversary is August 4th, but our wedding was the 5th. Long story. When I was thinking of what to do for Daniel for our 10 year celebration, Dan reminded me of a song I started writing the night we decided to try dating (we had been close friends for around 6 years at that time). At that point in life I wrote nightly in a journal. Sorta a pray/thoughts/wishes journal. I have tried many times over the years to finish that song. But I never could. Maybe because it is such a country-ish song and my voice and style is not country. But what ever the reasons, this time I was determined to over come. Surprisingly, it only took about a week to finish it.

I wish I knew how to play the guitar. This song needs the guitar, bad. But in honor of my husband I recorded our song, just me singing at the computer. When I learn the guitar I'll finish it for real.
Here is what I have: His Girl
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY my LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trail Shoes, Mountain Dew and Hero's

2010-05-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to follow trends. If I like it I wear it. Be that make-up, cloths, shoes or socks. In middle school I put blush on my eyelids and dressed monochromatically. No it wasn't a cool thing to do. And no one thought that I was cool. But I liked the look, so I wore it. In college I chopped all my hair off and found that my new hair style didn't mix well with running. If I left my hair down, I got poked in the eyes by hair blowing in the wind. But I couldn't fit my short hair into a ponytail. Much to my roommate's chagrin, I began wearing what I thought of as pigtails to run laps around campus. It looked like I wanted to be a short-haired Pippi Longstocking. Or maybe like I wanted to have dragon horns. But it kept my hair out of my face. To add a little style to my new look, I would put 3 colored rubber-bands on each pigtail, and match the rubber-bands to my running outfit. I liked it. Sure I got grins from fellow students out running, but whats wrong with making people smile? Only Kristin (my roommate) actually expressed dislike for them. And I know she loved me anyway, even though she would never join me on on a run. And, actually, my pigtails are still with me. Though my hair is longer now and doesn't usually stand straight up pulled into pigtails.

As an athlete my "who cares about the masses, do you like it?" attitude translates into "if it works for me I use it." Be that Hammer gel, Mountain Dew, no solids on long runs or even trail shoes on the road. Yes. Trail shoes on the road. I wore the New Balance MT 100's in a recent road race. Early on, some of the other ladies made disapproving comments about my footwear choice. But I knew that the shoe I had on would work for me. Even on the road. I have spent a lot of money in the last few years trying shoes that end up not working. My all time favorite running shoe (Brooks T5- a road racing flat that I wore for ultras on all but the gnarliest trails) was tweaked last year and the new version sucks. Funny, because Brooks supposedly made the upper better. Only the better version leaves major blisters on the top of my foot. The old one never gave me even one blister.
I have come to realize that I have the worst foot to fit in a shoe of any type ever. Sad, but being my feet love to run I work hard to find what will work. In fact, the NB 100s didn't work on try #1. I had to go up a 1/2 size and cut the heel cup down to prevent popping my bursae sack (long story and older post). Then I tried blister pads instead of cutting down the heel. The blister pads work great. Yay for me! A trail shoe that I love. Only I have been training on roads for the last few months. Oh what I would give for a pair of T5's! I tried 2 different road shoes during training for Mad City 100k. But both pairs are only good for under 18miles. Being I had trained on the roads in my NB 100s (over 50miles at once), I knew that I could run a road race in them. The NB 100s are actually lighter then almost all road shoes, and being I like a minimal shoe, I didn't have anything to really gain from a road shoe. The NB 100's rock. Not my perfect shoe by a lot, but the best on the current market by even more.

Which brings me to Mountain Dew. Before mad City, I had never drunk Mountain Dew on the run. I had been having some tummy problems and hadn't t had luck with any of my long run nutrition experiments. When I saw Mountain Dew on the list of aid-station foods, I figured I had nothing to lose in giving it a go, as I know a few athletes who like it on the run and nothing I tried had worked well enough for me to want to use it again. I also knew that I like sugar and caffeine during long runs as long as I take in water with them. So I gave the Dew a go at Mad City. And it worked for me! My tummy felt great all race long. When I met with my friend Meredith Terranova the week after the race, she said keep with the Dew for races. I really did a good job at Mad City. Next race will be more of the same. Literally. More gels per hour, more electrolytes per hour, more water per hour. Other then being short on calories and overall intake, Mad City worked for me. Yippy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a giant YIPPY to Meredith. For anyone who doesn't know, Meredith Terranova is one of the best nutritionist there is. And an amazing athlete as well. I've been think a lot about my "running hero's" lately. There are a lot of amazing athletes in America. But when it comes down to it fast times and course records just aren't something that leave me thinking "Wow. She rocks" by themselves. Meredith is one of my hero's because of her incredible knowledge and willingness to use what she has learned to help other athletes grow. Meredith is also one of the most genuine people around.
Another lady hero of mine is Elizabeth Howard. Liza is not only super fun and sweet, but the most competitive person I know. Before knowing Liza, I had no idea how to really go for it in a race and not feel mean, cocky, or foolish. Liza, while a super sport, knows how to go for it. Seeing her race- really race- and do it without putting down other runners or giving off an, "I'm better then you" air has taught me how to race, too. And racing rocks. Regardless of who wins.
Next are Annette Bednosky and Jamie Donaldson. Both of these ladies are really only acquaintances. But being they have been running ultras for many years and are both top notch at it, I know a bit about them. That and they both have blogs.
Before meeting Annette, I must admit to having been already star struck. She is pure awesomeness, in my book. Not afraid of a challenge and incredible at over coming obstacles. Annette seems to come out of everything stronger. I want to be like that.
Jamie might be the most humble world class athlete there is. Both the times I saw Jamie race, she seemed to be truly focused in on her race and not out there just to win. Seeing Jamie approach racing from such an individual place has helped me gain mental toughness. The only thing I have any control over in a race is my mind. Nothing else. So I better do all I can to have my mind on my side.

Well, I re-titled this post. Maybe I should just call this 'random'. Oh well. Time for bed. Happy running to all!!

A mountain run

2010-04-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

No rules. Speed doesn't matter and miles don't count. Or maybe they count double. It's almost 4pm. Diner is in 2 hrs when I write my name in the book. Two hours to get up and down Guadalupe Peak. Can I make it in two hours? Normally I'd think yes. But today? Today was a challenge I like.

This morning I ran 8 miles on the Permian Reef Trail. Over 2100 feet of climbing up single track, rocky trails in 3.1 miles. Then around and down a bit before getting to stand, arms open wide, at a look out point and just shout down over the amazing view of my campsite in the distance. Wow. Going down Permian was equally great. I was just fighting back giggles that I'm sure had hikers thinking I might be crazy. But this place was like Bandera on steroids. Bliss.

The day before was a 30 mile Joe run. Anyone who knows Joe knows what this means. How this man manages to find ass-kicking trails and string them together in a way that will have even then nicest runner cussing is a gift beyond measure. Oh how I love doing a Joe run.

My quads are sore, my hands are cold, and my back is dripping sweat under my fleece and Nathan pack. It's time for up. I feel like I'm running, in a way. My arms are swinging and my turn over is quick. But moving is slow. Still, the feeling is, again, bliss. 18 minute mile bliss.

After 1.4 miles two hikers pass me on their way down. "There are 2 guys ahead of you. You have a long way to go," one says.
"Less the 3 miles," I reply with a smile.

More up. I was breathing hard from the get go, but the climbing never got harder. 2 miles up. Three. Getting close to four. By this time I'm surrounded by cloud. A mile back the wind blew pieces of cloud over me as I climbed, drawing out more laughs. Now the fog is almost thick. Wisps of cloud cover the rocky trail and the smell in the air is sweet and ethereal. I've been climbing for over an hour, taken two wrong turns, but I know I'm close to the peak. This climb is billed as a tourist trail, but a few of the turns are hard to see. At least in the fog. Still, I know I'm close to the top. Hugging a turn I hike the last bit of trail up, climb a few rocks, write my name in the book and give a happy whoop into the thick clouds. This mountain offered me no view from Its top. But the 77 minute climb was reward enough. I slapped the monument, climbed off the slippery peak rocks, filled my lungs with the cloudy air and started the run down.

My GPS died after just over 8 miles in 2:01, about .5 miles from the trail head. But I don't care. On the mountain speed and time really don't matter to me. I made the climb.

Mad City 100k 2010

2010-04-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

When I registered for Mad City, I had decided to run this year's race as a practice run for next year's race. The goal: to get on the USATF 100k team in 2011. This is a BIG goal. Especially being I had never raced a road ultra before today. My training for the last 2 months has been much different then what I am use to. Faster stuff on pavement vs. slower stuff on trails. But I've LOVED training like this. I love running hard and I've loved feeling like I'm getting faster while improving my endurance with crazy tempo runs and track work. My time goal for this race this year was to run close to eight minute miles...8 minute miles are slower then pretty much all of my training has been. But being this was a 62 mile race, eight minute miles would be good.

Mad City 100k was the USATF 100k Championship race for 2010. Meaning it draws fast runners and offers prize money to the top 5 male and female USATF finishers, along with a chance for the winner to get on the USATF 100k team. This race is a rolling hills 100k made up of 10 10k loops. I actually expected the course to be flatter then it was. I would call the whole thing rolling, with a nice flat run way coming into the starting/loop/finish area.

At 6:30am the race began. I ran the first 30K with 3 great running women (Kristin Moehl, Angie Radosevich, and Jenny Capel). It was fun getting to meet some awesome runners and talk while running along for those first loops. But after 30K I was ready to pick it up a bit. So I did. Truthfully I am a bit of a loner when I run, and I was ready to just zone out and run. No more talking. Lap 4 was my fastest loop of the day, with lap 5 taking 2end for a "clocked" 3:58:10 50k. I say clocked because the aid station was just before the time mats. Meaning I stopped for maybe 1 minute to eat, drink and take an S!Cap before running over the time mats.

By the end of lap 6 my legs were starting to cramp. I did a mental check list of the possible whys and decided these cramps were racing cramps. Nothing to be done but push on. Also on this lap, I caught the 2end place lady, Annette Bednosky. We hit the aid stations with in seconds of each other for a couple laps before my legs decided I was going to slow down.

The clock said 7:25 when I left for my last lap, in 3erd place. My legs still felt bad, but I pushed them anyway. I kept telling myself "8:20 or less. 8:20 or less", as I did my best to run up those long (though not steep) hills. At 8:02 I hit the 3.8 mile (of 6.2miles) aid station, downed some water and Mt. Dew, and pushed in to finish in 8:18:24. 3erd female, 10th person. Talk about thrilling! The website says I averaged 8:01.3 minutes for every mile. Woo-hoo! Not only that, but I now have a chance of getting selected this year to run in the USATF 100k World Championship, because I ran under 8:40. Exciting Craziness!

I still want to train for this race over the next year. I feel like I have a great shot at running quite a bit faster, if I put in the miles right. A GIANT THANK YOU to Joe, for helping train for this. I would have never done those workouts w/o someone having put them on my training plan. And I can tell they helped me out a lot. :)

Oh, I am sure some of my running peeps are just dying to know what I was eating and drinking today. Well, I tried something new. In a race. I drunk like 10 cups of Mt. Dew today, a lot of water, about 2 cups of Heed, took 10 S!Caps and 10 gels. Nothing more, nothing less.

Easy runs for FUN

2010-03-10T15:23:00.000-08:00

I have finally figured out how to love my easy runs!! For years I've almost dreaded easy days. I'd look at my training plans and think, "Blah. An easy run Wednesday. I have to run slow and that is boring." But no longer! For the last few weeks I've planed to do easy runs at parks, on snow covered trails, or on new trails to do exploring. Instead of thinking running 5-8 miles isn't worth driving somewhere to run, I think of my easy runs as play-dates for myself. A few miles just to have fun doing something I love. Today I ventured onto a part of a trail that I've used as a turn-around spot a few times in the past. Instead of turning around when I hit the part that plunges into a creek, I slashed on in. WooHOO! Cold fun! And the water was much deeper then I expected. It got up to my knees in the middle. About .5 miles later, I turned and ran thru more water that let out into sand. Then I went up a .8 mile crush granite and muddy in spots hill before the trail hit a road. So fun! On the way back, there was a small (about 1.5 feet long but slim) snake sunbathing on the trail. Being it was 40 degrees out, I wasn't watching for snakes and almost stepped on him. Silly snake! But for some reason I see lots of snakes on the trails here in Colorado when the sun is out, regardless of the temperature. I guess it is warmer in the sun then under a rock.
The only mildly disappointing part of today's run was the knee length yoga pants I wore. When they got wet, the bottoms sloshed around and were obviously not really for running in. There was a 30% chance of snow while I was running, so I didn't want to be in shorts. But 40 degrees isn't cold enough for pants, so I wore the only Capri's I have that are made out of workout material. I can't wait to get my Patagonia Capri's to run in! And maybe I'll use my Northface gift card for another pair of Capri's. I think running in knee length pants is the way to go most of the winter up here. Much different then Texas!

Next week I hope there is snow on the trails again. Snow runs might be my favorite!

2010-03-01T05:23:00.000-08:00

It's 6:23am here. And so far today I've made three kid's lunches, made a pot of oatmeal, done my reading, loaded the dishes left from last night, swept the downstairs bathroom, washroom, and what I have started calling "the mud hall". Lots of houses around here have a Mudroom. But we have an area where we hang jackets by the garage door that is a hallway. Half-bath straight ahead, laundry room to your right, and the way into the house to your left. Being the kids will come into this hall, take of snow boots, and then toss the boots into there buckets in the garage, this hall of ours gets quit muddy of late and makes me think "Mudroom-hall".

All 3 of my little treasures are still sleeping. The boys will be up in maybe 5 minutes and Seren about 10mins after them. Oh the comfort of a quit and mostly clean house.

Today Caedmon has all day school. In our school district kindergarten is a half day. But they give you the option to pay extra and have your kindergartner go to an all day program called Kindergarten Enrichment. We asked if we could send Caed all day 3 times a week instead of all five. They said yes, so that is what we started doing last week. Caedmon loves his all day school days. And so do I! Mondays are extra nice because I don't workout on Mondays. I get to clean house, run errands, study my ACSM stuff, read books...Mondays are great. This Monday a friend of mine is coming over for yoga and healthy living encouragement. And yipy- it's snowing! A pretty, light, dusting of steady snow this morning. The only thing that could make this Monday better is Einstein's.

Oh. I hear my treasures coming down the stairs. Have a great week to anyone who reads this!!

For my fellow runners: This past week of mine rocked for running! 73 miles in 9:08:45 total. 45 miles that I'd call hard-ish. My favorite 2 workouts: Thursday's 10 miler of 321's on rolling hills at a park and Saturday's 20 w/ 2 10ks @ 7 min mile pace in the middle, also on rolling hills at a park.

What next?

2010-02-22T17:38:00.000-08:00

Woo-hoo!! Dan has a new job!!!!!!!!!!!!! He got an offer from a company he had been doing contract work for, accepted their offer, and became an official employee this past Monday. Happy days for us! I feel like 2 tons are lifted off my shoulders. :)

Also in this past week, I decided to train for the next 13ish months for the 100k. But not just any 100k. I want to train hard, risking crossing that line that separates the fit athlete from the injured athlete, and see how fast I can run the Mad City 100k in 2011. The Mad City 100k is this year, and likely will be next year, the USATF 100k championship race. Meaning it draws the fast runners and offers prize money. I'm running it this year on April 10th to have a solid point to train from. And let me just say, I AM PUMPED! This past weekend I did a 31 mile training run with 4 10k intervals at what I would call an "engaged" pace. A pace I could have held longer then the 31 miles I ran, but I'm not at the point of racing a 100k and hitting those splits right now. The whole 50k, warm thru cool down, took me 3:52. Super exciting! I ran almost right at a 7:30 mile average for 31 miles and ended the run feeling good! Like I could have run much faster! Woo-hoo! Sure it was a flat 50k, but it was fast and felt good. The next day I ran 16 miles (on a treadmill at 1% incline-that is my normal TM run incline) in 2:02:40 and that run felt super easy. I exercised self-control and didn't allow myself to push the pace until after 13 miles...and then I forced myself to take a super easy .5 miles for a cool down. So I will race the Mad City 100k this year and plan on running faster next year. This year will be all for fun, as I have absolutely no expectations going into this race. Goals? Of course! But I know that my goals are very un-solid. I've never in my life tried to run a pace that felt anything other then easy for more then 26.2 miles. And I haven't raced a marathon in years. So that makes this year all fun. I can't wait to see what happens, take the results and plan for next year!!

More RR 50 miler

2010-02-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

Opps. I left a lot out. For starters, I won the race and set a new course record for females! Very exciting for me. :)

Going into this race, what I was really wanting to do is run as best as I could on that day, all obstacles being tackled as best as I could figure out how to take them on and run well. I knew from training runs that I had a good shot at running in the low 7 hr range and maybe under 7 hrs if things were going close to how I thought they could for me. I have done a lot of long runs (over 20miles) well over 7 mph and ended those runs feeling great- Not at all beat down. So that was my plan. Run around 7 mph for 50 miles. I started out a bit slower then that but by the end f loop 1 was running over 7.5mph. Close to the end of loop 2 I was running just over 7.1 mph. I am very pleased with having averaged about 7.14 mph for this race and look forward to trying for a faster 50 mile sometime in the future! :) :) :) :)

Rocky Raccoon 50 mile race

2010-02-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

When my wake up call came at 5am Saturday morning, I knew that today would be a good day for me to practice laying it all on the line under not so great circumstances. So much had not lined up for me to race well at Rocky Raccoon, but running is a mental game. I was ready to tackle this 50 miles with my mind...physical situations and the past weeks stress not counting. I know some of you want to know what was going on. Most of that takes way too much explaining and will have to be another blog. But I will fill you in on some of it. But BE WARNED. What follows is of a personal nature and some readers (especially males) my want to skip to the next paragraph now. I am going to write a little about this because I was actually looking for info on my situation and unable to find much...so maybe some ultra runner lady really does want to know. I know from training that I tend to run and feel crappy in the days leading up to my period. And luck would have it that I would be running this race either right before or during my period. But I knew this weeks back (that is a lot of why I didn't sigh up for the 100. Planing that type of bathroom break during a 100 mile race was very unappealing to me). So I woke up Saturday morning still unsure of how to handle this race...no period yet. But what about in 3 hours while I'm suppose to be running? I decided to play it safe and act as if this was my day one. I also told myself that I could still run well. Training isn't racing. I WILL race well regardless of how crappy I am feeling.

After a warm shower I dressed in my tinniest black shorts, black sports bra, Team Traverse jersey with the cap sleeves, Green Injinji socks and New Balance 100s. I ate a bagel with low fat strawberry cream cheese and plain fat free yogurt on top and drunk a Non fat Mocha from Starbucks w/ only 2 pumps of chocolate. I also took an S!Cap and drunk about 2 cups of water. My parents and I left the hotel at about 5:30am. I thought it would take us 45mins or more to get to the starting line b/c of the fact that over 700 runners were going to be at this race this year. But I have got to hand it to Huntsville State park. They did an amazing job of directing traffic. We were at the starting line a few minutes before 6am. Just in time to see the 344 100 mile runners start their race.

I chatted with a few runners as I waited for the next hour in the starting area. Joe (the race director and my coach) assured me that this course is still fast when wet. It had rained lots in the last few days and there were a few puddles on the course and mud. Joe said to just plow into the puddles, as the stickiest mud was on the outside of the puddles. Ok, I told myself. Run IN the puddles (so fun!). I also chatted with my friend Meredith about our goals for this race.

Before too long we were all off. I started towards the front, as the trails narrow out some and there were several hundred runners in the 50. The first 3.1 miles went nice and easy. My plan was to let my legs get warm and then just run at a comfortable pace that was almost hard. The aid-stations were (in miles): 3.1, 3.1, 2.68, 3.4, 4.4. Then repeat three times. I wore my waist pack so that I had easy access to water, gels and electrolytes. I was also very fortunate to have my Mom crewing for me. Meaning that she would be at 3 of the 5 aid stations with a new water bottle, more gels and electrolytes waiting for me to just grab and go. Having her there saved me several minutes over the course of this race. When I hit the 2end aid station (called Dam Road), a running friend of mine named John was there refilling runner's bottles. I asked him if I could leave my empty bottle for him to fill and pick it up on the way back thru in 2.68 miles (this aid station is sorta an out and back loop). He said sure. Being the Dam Road was BY FAR the busiest station, having John's help on all 3 loops probably saved me another minute.

This was my favorite section to run this year. Not only because it had the most mud, but because of the good sized puddle of water across the path. This puddle was about 2 cars long and came up to my mid-calf at the deepest part. When I saw it up ahead, I picked up my pace and plowed straight in. The cold water splashing on my thighs felt awesome! Especially during loop 3 when my legs were cramping. And my NB 100s draind just magically.

I finished the 1st 16.7 miles in about 2:08 and was feeling awesome. Loop 2 was over about 4:28 into this race and went by much the same as loop 1 had. I was still feeling good, but my legs were getting tight. By the time I hit 36 miles, my legs were cramping pretty bad. While I am sure I still have room to improve my race nutrition, I think that these leg cramps were coming more as a result of the push I was giving my muscles racing. I am soooo hitting the weight room harder in my next training cycle! When I had about 7 miles left to go, I told myself "That is shorter then a tempo workout. NO GIVING UP- NO SLOWING DOWN!" While I wasn't running close to as fast as I do for tempo runs during those final miles, the effort was there. I was pushing hard and my legs were cramping bad. When I hit the last aid station, I knew I could still finish under 7hrs. But I would have to push HARD! With less then 4 miles to go, my GPS died. But I just ran on as if that GPS was telling me I could still make it if I pushed.

I crossed the finish line in 6:59:40. I had made it!! Under 7hrs!!! And I had worked hard to do it. But the most exciting thing to me was the feeling of "I did well. I pushed hard. I can still do better." I have lots of room for improvement. From weight training and nutrition to long runs and speed work. I am so excited to get back to training and race again! If I can get my mind to attack future races like I did this one, then racing will be something I love as much as I love training. Why? Because it isn't about the end result for me. It is all about the process of getting there.

Shoes

2010-02-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

So much has been going on lately that I don't even know what to make this post about. So I will pick the funnest thing on my mind and write about that.

Late last year I tried the New Balance 100 trail running shoes. I bought the women's 8.5, as that is the size I had worn and enjoyed in the NB 790's. For anyone who doesn't know (other posts), those shoe didn't work AT ALL for me. So I kept searching. Tried some Inov 8s. Too narrow in the toe box. Tried NB 840s, in the 9wide and the 9regular. I like the 9wide. But only for trails. Running on roads, treadmils, bike-paths, or even very packed trails in those left my legs feeling sorta beat-up.

Being the 9 wides fit well and I still hadn't found a trail shoe (or road shoe) that I liked enough to stick w/, I desided to take a chance and try the NB 100s again in a bigger size. The 100s don't come in wide. So I ordered the mans 7.5 (New Balance's man's shoes in the standard width are built with the same width as the woman's wide) and the woman's 9. After trying them on, I was sure the mans 7.5 fit well enough to give them a go. After running a hard 8miles in them, I was thinking there really was a chance I'd like these 100s. My lefy heel had a painful blister, but no damage. So I cut down the heel cup. Being the heel was then a bit rough, my blister was agrevated on my next run (6miles). I took purple Duck-tape (pink would have worked too) and covered the heel cup. Then I ran 15miles in them and FELT GREAT! WOW! I might have a close to perfect trail shoe!! And I just flet like I was flying in those shoes. My foot didn't slide all over the place. My legs didn't feel blah or worked in a different way then I am use to. My heels felt good. The best part is I get to try them out in a 50 mile race this Saturday. Hoping I love them after that!!

Food!

2010-01-16T18:47:00.000-08:00

I am no stranger to high mileage weeks and long races. In fact, my mileage has been on the low side since I injured my heel back in October. But what I am not use to is eating healthy. My diet is, by no means, perfect, and I don't even want it to be "perfect". What I do want to do is fuel my body as an athlete. To make smart food choices to sustain my running before, during, and after runs. This is HARD. For the last 3 or so years, I have been pretty good at eating healthy for most of my meals. But some how I had this idea in my head that if I ran 10 or so miles I could eat 500 or more calories of anything I wanted. Being I ran 10 or more miles 4 times a week, I helped myself daily to ice cream, brownie batter, cookie dough...anything I wanted. NOT SMART. Awhile back I kept a food journal because I had gained 5 pounds and didn't like how cruddy I was feeling on my runs. My goodness! I can't believe the amount of crap I was putting into my body regularly. I started then making small changes. First I only allowed myself one serving of junk a day (only I cheated way too often). Pretty quickly I lost 3 of those pounds. After a few months I figured I could really do this healthy eating thing. I truly felt tons better when running and had more energy for everything and even felt happier just from cutting way back on sugars. Maybe I could make some more changes and feel even better. NO MORE JUNK. For a few weeks, it went pretty well for me. I think I had 2 ice creams in a 3 week period and no other sweets. No chips. I even cut down my sodas to zero (!!). But then I ran Bandera. I've really been trying. But oh my, oh my, oh my! I feel the calorie shortage I've created by cutting out junk food. All week I've fought the urge to go by ice cream or make some brownies. I've eaten more giant salads then ever in one week. And I caved. Thursday I made Rice Crispy treats (w/ Cheerios and caramel).I am feeling proud of myself for eating no more then three at one time! And yesterday I made cranberry scones. Oh how yummy they were! And tonight I am finally not feeling so hungry.
So can I do it? Can I go back to no junk food??? I want to. I've said to myself many times today, "I'm not afraid to fill up on more veggies and fruit!" as a friend of mine so perfectly put it. But the truth of the matter is, I think I'm scared! Scared of fruit and veggies. Maybe I can learn to be scared of cookies and brownies instead!

Bander 2010

2010-01-10T10:51:00.000-08:00

This is one race report I am not excited to write. As an athlete, people look at what I say and do and make so many assumptions about who I am based on these things. Knowing that people who don't know me (and maybe some who do) are deciding who they think I am as a person based on a few actions or words is a big stress for me. I'm just not one of those people who can easily shrug off things like that. Also, I know I am a very blessed person. What I have in my life is nothing to complain about in the grand scheme of things. But as a human being I do get weighed down by thing I wish I could just let go of and truly be none the wearier in spite of. This weekend I learned that I can let things go and not stress about them but they are still taking there toll. I will do my best to write my thoughts about this race below, but words are limiting.

Thursday morning, January 7th, Dan and I got up a little before 4am Colorado time ready to drive down to Texas. We had loaded all or things into our rental car the night before. Why rent a car when we currently have no income you ask? Well, I guess I need to back up farther and start in mid December when Daniel lost his job. I've been trying to not think much about this, as it is a pointless stress for me. Dan is looking hard for (and likely has now found) a new job. We cut or budget down as tight as we could (glad I Christmas shopped in January!) and were ready to do what had to be done to make ends meet as responsibly as possible. So stressing about it is of no use. Also in December our renters from Austin fell 2 months behind in rent...meaning our savings account was being drained on a mortgage that was housing another family, and we had/have no income. We spent a good amount of time earlier in this week trying to access a savings account we set up for emergencies and currently can't get to. Sometime in the next few days we will have all the information needed to get into this account. Meaning we have money to last through a few more weeks of bills, only we can't get to it. Kinda frustrating to see a nice bit of money in our account, need the money to keep from paying interest rates, late fees or over draft fees, and not be able to get to the money. But I know it could be worse and am grateful that it is only what it is.

Wednesday, January 6th, I got a package in the mail from Running Warehouse. "Oh boy," I'm thinking, "my shoes for Bandera." Only when I opened the box, I had the man's Peak XC in a size 9, not the woman's. Immediately I called Running Warehouse, who assured me they would have the woman's size 9 Peak XC shoes to my parents house (were I would be the day before the race) with their free-on-every-order 2end day UPS shipping. I was still in a bit of a pickle. I knew the balance in our checking accounts...we couldn't buy me another pair of shoes and pay for gas to Texas too...yes the man's shoes would be 100% refunded, but not until it was received by Running Warehouse...my current running shoes were dead because I had been putting off buying another pair until I had to...what to do? Daniel decided he would pay for our gas to Texas with his silver dollars so I could order the shoes. Feeling guilty, I ordered the shoes and put the man's shoes in the mail.

On the way home from dropping the giant looking shoes off at UPS, we had a car accident. No one was hurt, but both cars were in need of repair. We called the insurance company, told them what had happened, that we were planing to leave for Texas in less then 12hrs, lived over a half hour away from the car place, blah blah blah, and they agreed to stay open late so we could turn our car in this night and get a rental. Another $500 spent that we don't have right now.

Back to Thursday morning. The trip down was pretty uneventful. We listened to "Into Thin Air". An amazing and very moving story of the events on Mt. Everest in 1996. At about 9:30pm Texas time, we pulled into Marabel Slab were my dad treated Dan and I to ice cream. My favorite!

The next day we ran a few errands in San Antonio and visited with family. At about 4pm we headed to Bandera for packet pick up. The plan was for my parents to finish packing the RV they rented and meet us at Hill Country State Natural Area maybe around 8:30pm. Only my Mom told me they were still waiting on my shoes. At 5pm, my mother called UPS to see if they could give her an ETA on the shoes. They told her the truck had already tried to deliver the shoes, but there was no house at the listed address...I had put the wrong house address on the shipping info.! Then my mother called Running Warehouse. Running Warehouse called UPS. Running Warehouse then called my mom and told her she could pick the shoes up from UPS, but not until 8-9pm. My parents drove to the other side of SA at 8pm, picked my shoes up when the came in at 8:40 and thought they were now headed to Bandera. But the highway was closed. All told, they arrived at the park about 11:30pm Friday night. Dan and I had been trying to rest in the car, waiting for them to arrive with our bed.
Side note: I was so peeved at myself! Why did I put the wrong number????? Gurrrr. But I was very grateful for how willing my parents were to do what they could to help me out. THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!

Friday night was very cold. I had on my warm fuzzy socks, sweatpants, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt and warmest hat. I slept with the blankets pulled up over my head to try to get warm. At about 3:30am my father, in his freezing state, checked the thermostat in the RV. Somehow the heater was off. He turned it on. Normally I'd leave all these little silly things that went wrong out, but this time I am listing them all because individually they are small. Piled up they took their toll on my brain.

I got up at 5:30am Saturday. The outside temp was around 11degrees. For the start of the race, I put on my Team Traverse jersey, arm warmers, thin zipper jacket, Toaster gloves, running skirt, ear warmer and topped my outfit of by putting a beanie over my pigtails. Injinji sock's as always and my new black Peak XC shoes w/ gaiters. I stood in the starting area in a blue penguin flannel robe until the start countdown began.

At 7:30 we were off. The start of the race was awkward for me. I knew from my current training that I could smoke this course. I also knew that mentally I wasn't up to racing. I had done my best to suck it up and put on my game face. I set little goals and didn't speak about what I "could" do to keep from putting useless pressure on myself. I wanted to be encouraging to the other girls who I knew could smoke this course as well. I LOVE fast women...not in a weirdo way, but in a team mate, lets show the world what a lady can do too way. That is part of why I suck at racing. I don't really care if I "win". I'm there to do what I can. Winning is fun, but I am also super happy for other ladies when they run well and beat my in the process. I need to learn how to handle this. How to race and not feel like a mean person for it. Anyhow, I was just there to run my race. I went out comfortably and met 2 of the ladies I had suspected would run well at Bandera.

I went through the first aid station in 54mins and aid station 2 at 1:44. The first 2 sections have some nice climbs and the 3erd section is flat and fast. I changed my warmest gloves for some lighter ones and dropped my jacket at this station, #2. A couple miles in, my hands were freezing. I pulled my arm warmers down over my gloves and wrapped my ear warmer around my left hand. While running along the fence line a little later, I decided to change the ear warmer over to my right hand, as my left hand was warm and my right hand cold. After wrapping up my right hand I looked up to see a split in the trail. The split was unmarked. Odd, because Tejas Trail courses are always well marked. Being there was an obvious main trail, I kept running straight. about 8mins later I hit a dead end at a fence. Ah! I was thinking. What did I do??? I turned around and saw that a young guy had followed me. "I though I say my twin brother running the other way back there." He said. We turned around to retrace our path. Only there were more splits from this side and all of the splits lead nowhere. Being frazzled, I forced myself to stop and think. Just follow the fence back. Duh. The young guy then asked for some water, saying he was feeling dehydrated. I pulled my mostly full bottle of Gatorade out of my pack and traded him for an empty hand held. I few minutes later we were back at the unmarked split. When I ran back a bit farther, I saw the turn. Taking no time to examine the missed turn, I took the right path towards the next aid station. All told, I had spent 20mins running around lost. As soon as I was back on course, I knew I was finished. My brain just couldn't get around this one. Sure it is a trail race. People get lost and keep going all the time. Yes I can keep going. But for me the time lost was just crushing. I was already so mad at myself for the dumb things I had done to get to this race and then I got myself lost. That was a crusher for me. I decided I'd just run on as planed to the 50k. But mental I was finished.

When I got to the 50k (in 5:19..boo to getting lost!), I was physically feeling better then I ever had at the half way point in this race. My legs had no cramps and I wasn't feeling the need to walk the climbs yet. But I was just so long gone mentally. Joe and Dan, along with what felt like 30 other people, tried to nicely convince me to run on. "You're not far behind the others," and "You are gaining on there splits" they said. But I wasn't there to race them. I was racing me and I got lost, and lost. Feeling very torn and peeved with myself, I left for loop 2. Running up the climbs felt great on this loop , but my mind was still not going to push my though a hard 100k. When I got to aid station 1 on loop 2, my family agreed that it was ok for me to not force myself through this. I just didn't have the mental strength for it. I was greatly relived. Being I was still doing well physically, I decided to shower, change into dry and warmer running cloths, eat a bit, and then go back to aid station 1 and find someone to pace for the rest of the 100k. I figured that just because my race was over didn't mean I had to actually drop the race. Maybe I could help another runner run well by running with them through a harder part of their race. I have run at Bandera by myself in the dark, and it can be grueling if you are physically hurting.

The first few runners through said they were OK and didn't need a pacer. But one guy said something along the lines of "You don't want to go with me. I know I will finish, but it will be a very slow process." Being he hadn't said "no" to my offer, I told him I would join him, if that was alright. I didn't care a bit about the pace.

As we walked fast towards the next aid station, we talked. The more we talked, the better I was feeling about being out there. I was running with Mark Raymond , who I had never met but he knew all the runners from Austin that I knew. Mark had finished the Bandera 100k every year that there has been a Bandera race (year 8 this year) and planed on keeping his streak going. This past year had been harder then normal for him because of a move to New York that brought more job stress and left little time for training, so finishing would be harder and slower. But he was a positive thinker and never voiced wanting to quit. And I will tell you, walking that course in the dark with the temperature in the teens is freaking hard! When we got to Chapas (aid station 2), my hands were so numb I couldn't feel them. One of the volunteers suggested I lay my hands on a crock pot to warm them. After she assured me that I wouldn't damage my hands from the heat (being I couldn't feel them), I happily complied. After drinking hot chocolate and soup, I went and stood by a space heater with Mark. Before too long I was shaking horribly and I could feel my hip flexors grinding along my hip bones from shaking and tightening. I knew that if we didn't leave soon, my body was going to really fight leaving at all. I think Mark knew that too, because he said "lets go" soon after. As we walked out, Mark told me that if I didn't warm up soon to go ahead and run into to cross-roads (the next aid station) to keep from getting hypothermia. But no fear. I stopped shaking before 10mins were up.

I told Mark about what happened earlier in the race for me during this section, and we both watched the course closely to see were I went off course. The place was easy to spot. After running along the fence line for awhile, there is a left turn to head toward the fields. The turn was marked with streamers on the left and had a "wrong way" sigh on the left about 4feet past the turn. Talk about bad timing for me! I must have decided to switch my ear-warmer from my left hand to my right hand seconds before this turn came into sight. And being the wrong way sigh was on the same side of the trail as the turn and the opposite side of the trail as I was looking, I never saw the markings. Bad luck for me.

Mark was great company for the next 10 or so hours. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know him. And the night was spectacular despite the freezing temperature. We stopped and turned off our lights (well, I covered mine as my fingers were unable to push buttons) on the top of The Sister's (a high point in Bandera) and looked at the stars. Breath taking. Normally when I run out there, I don't get the chance to look around much. Looking and running on rocks can be hazardous. Taking the time to stop and enjoy the beauty of this place was refreshing, and what I needed mentally.

19hrs and 24minutes after the start of this race, we finished. I can't say I'm glad this race turned out this way for me. But I can say that this experience was good for me over all. I probably should have decided to volunteer this race weeks ago when life circumstances had me feeling over whelmed and the idea of racing seemed like another stress. But I wanted to just suck it up and run. After all I love running and put in good training for Bandera. But I am not there mentally yet. I will get there. I will learn how to be a racer along with a runner and how to balance life stresses with my running. This weekend taught me a lot. I have a long ways to go.

The High

2010-01-04T07:55:00.000-08:00

I've tried to be patient and not post about this until after Bandera, as the Bandera 100k is a big race for me this year. But I am too excited. And truthfully, I like running SOOOOOO much more then racing, which is making Bandera mentally harder for me then I want...This summer I have an opportunity to run a 135mile foot race in the Himalayas. At first I thought, "Wow. That looks crazy awesome. But no way." Only now it looks like I am going to get to go! My Dad has agreed to come with me as a support person (and being he is a photographer, he is as excited as I am to be there). And OH MY GOODNESS! I think I'm going to go!!!!!
My hope is to do this for The Home Foundation. This is something heavy on my heart always, and I can think of nothing I'd rather run for or put as a training focus for something of this magnitude then to fund-raise for them and pray for victims of human trafficking during this multi-day journey.
So stay tuned! Hopefully I will have lots more to say on this before the end of this month!

Bandera in ONE week!

2010-01-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. The Bandera endurance runs are just around the corner. And somehow I am signed up to run the 100k again... WOOHOO!! This year the competition is steep. To deal with the stress, I have set a couple of goals that have nothing to do with trying to win. My number one goal going into this is to run my best in order to get a good idea about how I stack up with other runners who win ultras, regardless of what place that puts me in. That way I can train to improve in the future. My thought is I'm only 29 and have been running ultras for about 3 years, so I have a lot of time to get better at this. My number 2 goal is to average under 11 minute miles for the whole thing. The last time I finished this race, I had no electrolytes and my legs started cramping before 50k. By 45miles I was just falling over and trying to go forward on legs that were cramping so bad...and my lack of experience (ultra #2) had me thinking it was under training...now I know better!! I finished in 11:25 that year (about 11:03 a mile), so with a much better nutrition plan in place I think I should at least be able to run better then that!

I really have a solid base to run from this year, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect to run well...but I also see that there are other strong ultra runners signed up, some who are strong technical runners. Meaning I know I could get my butt kicked out there and I'm OK with that. But. Out of Staters beware: this course isn't like most trails. When I moved to CO this past summer, I had a HARD time finding trails that came even close to Bandera trails. In fact, I've found that I can run faster at 9,000 feet on smooth trails for a 30mile training run then I can at Bandera with the same effort. So know this going into these runs: "technical" is an understatement for the course. I love that!

My Daniels

2009-12-17T17:39:00.000-08:00

Last night we had a music rehearsal for a Christmas Eve service. My 3 children played in a back room with 2 older children. All 5 of these kids are well behaved and as trustworthy as 5-11 year olds are. Meaning leaving the ll year old in charge might have questionable results. What happened last night: My 6 year old stuck his head in a toilet and then loaded his hair with hand soap and tried to wash his head in the sink. Apparently he takes after his Dad and can't pass up a dare...Lord help us!

Guys are funny!

2009-12-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

Since I injured my heel awhile back, I've been swimming instead of doing easy runs. I love swimming. Not as much as I love running, but it feels great to swim a couple of miles. My swimming routine is pretty easy. Just 65-70 non-stop freestyle laps at a comfy pace that still gets my heart rate up. Nothing hard, as it is an easy day and I've never been a competitive swimmer. BUT being I am a fit person, I am usually the fastest swimmer in the pool. I don't care about this. I am just there to get in a nice, enjoyable cardiovascular workout. Today there was a young guy in the lane next to me. When I got there, I noticed him swimming underwater laps. I didn't pay much attention. Just thought, "Oh how fun. I love swimming under water like that. Looking up through the water is so pretty..." and continued swimming. Around lap 20, I saw that this guy had switched to a freestyle swim and was swimming about half a body link behind me. After a couple laps, he was gone. Then at lap 26 he began swimming even with me. While I am use to guys racing me in the pool (on the treadmill, around the lake...) from time to time, I had never had one join me stroke for stroke. Being slightly intrigued (and competitive by nature) I sped up a bit. So did he. I sped up more. So did he. I gave it all I got and lost him on the wall flip. When I finished the next lap, I saw he was stopped on the pool edge. I was feeling a bit (just barely) guilty for having lost him like I had, so I stopped, pulled up my goggles, and asked, "You want to race?" Laughing and out of breath he said, "No. I was just trying to keep up."
"Are you sure?", I continued. "I like racing." The very fit young (20 something) man seemed to be thinking about it. "How long have you been swimming?" he asked.
"Well, I just swim for fun. Never competitively. So I guess all my life. Really I'm a runner. This is for cross-training. I'll swim around 70laps easy. But I'll race if you want."
"No," he assured me.
I put my goggles back on and continued swimming, doing my best to keep it comfortable. At the completion of lap 40, I saw the guy waving and bouncing around at me under water. When I stopped he said, "I want to race."
"Ok," I said. "One lap? There and back."
"Yah, now that I'm tiered, I want to race." He said with a laugh.
"Well, I'm sorta tired too." I told him. "I'm over half way done."
We both said Ready, set, go! And we were off. He was ahead right away. When I saw that, I just hoped he held on...I didn't want him to die at halfway. That would be embarrassing. But no fear! He held on and beat me by a good arms length. After the race, I congratulated him. He kept insisting that I had let him win. But I hadn't. I had given it my best. I normally just swim for a long time, I told him. I also offered to race him again anytime.
I am super glad this young guy took me up on the racing offer. It was fun. He now has bragging rights (being there where a few male witnesses to our race. Not sure where they came from, as none of those guys were in the pool area to swim...), and it gave me some insight into why guys will glance at the speed on my treadmill and feel the need to match it. They just want to keep up. :)

Retrocalcaneal Bursitis

2009-11-07T15:24:00.000-08:00

I had an appointment yesterday afternoon with a sports doctor. My official diagnosis is retrocalcaneal bursitis- meaning the bursa sac around the tendon that connects that tendon to the calcaneal (heel) bone is inflamed. This was indeed caused by the New Balance 100s squeezing the life out of my calcaneal. HOWEVER, I would never go so far as to say my experience will be another runner's experience. Every body is different. That is way there are so many different shoes available (Though I have yet to find a trail shoe I would call ideal for me).
I would like to invite anyone who happens to read this blog and has had a good experience with the NB 100s to leave a comment telling about why you like them. I have, in the past enjoyed NB running shoes. And if NB makes another shoe in the future that looks like it might work for me, I won't be hesitant to try it. But I will never ever ever run more then 8 miles at one time in a new shoe...duh to this "experienced" runner. Somethings you just gotta learn the hard way.

Cactus Rose 2009

2009-11-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

Once again waiting at the airport. Another booked flight that I am hoping to get on. I want to see my husband and little treasures!!

This trip has been great. I had a great time at Cactus Rose and loved getting to spend a lot of time with my parents and little sister. Even the weather was quite lovely this weekend.

Unfortunately, Cactus Rose didn't go too well for me. About one month ago, in my quest to find the perfect true trail shoe for Cactus Rose, I made a mistake. I order the New Balance 100's- a great looking, minimal and yet hard core trail shoe. Straight out of the box the shoes felt great. So I decided to wear them for the first time the next day on my long run. I was planing to run 50 or so miles on trails that had sections similar to the Cactus Rose course. After running out for about 10.5 miles, my Achilles was feeling tender. I stopped and tried to double over the cuff of my socks to relive some of the pressure on my heel. I also decided to head back to my car and change shoes. At the time I thought it was just a friction thing. I didn't want bad blisters on my heels. But by the time I ran another hilly (climbs) 6 miles, I knew it was more then just a blister issue. My Achilles was seriously hurting. Running dilemma: do I bag the run "just in case", or do I change shoes and run on. Mentally, I HAD to run on. I had cut too many long runs short in the last few weeks to cut this one down to 22 miles. So I changed shoes and decided to run at least 35 miles- hopefully 40 or even more if I was doing OK. I ended up running 40 miles, which my left heel didn't like but my right heel was fine with. Two days later, Tempo Run day, my Achilles was still hurting and tight. I decided to skip my run in favor of resting my heels (I like the word heel better the the word Achilles). I also stopped running hills at this point because I could feel my Achilles acting up after running hills. And I only work my T5's because they were the only running shoe that left my heel pain free and feeling great. I knew that I needed to have this Achilles in top form to race on the Cactus Rose course- this course is TOUGH stuff. Not a typical trail by any means. I also knew I was walking a line by training this way. If I stopped running, I would feel like crap racing a 100 miler. If I kept training my heel might not heal 100% by race morning. For me, the choice was easy. As long as I could run pain free and feel great after running, I was going to run. The catch was that any time I pushed on my left Achilles, it hurt a little. Not bad, mind you, but I knew it wasn't 100%. Also, even walking around in my trail shoes irritated it. Still, I knew I had to play it safe in staying off the hills and in the T5's while still taking a chance and training on....

When race morning came I felt ready to run, but I knew my heel was still iffy. I started off as planed at a comfortable pace that didn't feel overly slow. I finished the first 25 miles in about 4:35. My pre-race plan was to start comfy for loop 1 (25 mile loops), run the hills for loop 2, push the flats for loop 3, and give it what ever I had left for loop 4. I started loop 2 feeling pretty good- my left hamstring was tight, but I was hoping it was more of a loosening up issue then pain. When I started into the first set of hills on loop 2, my ham got tighter. Grrr...but I wasn't ready to give in yet. I changed my plan. Keep the ups easy and run the "flats". No problem, b/c it felt great to stretch my legs on the occasional non-hills. The problem came when I began getting nausea on the up hills. At first I thought it was something I ate. But after a few hills I realized I was only nauseous when my heel was hurting...not good. I began taking a close physical inventory of my body. By mile 35 I realized my left leg was getting worse in a bad way. By mile 40 I knew I wasn't going to finish 100. I struggled with what to do. Should drop at the 50 or run until the limp I was developing became pronounced? I didn't want to quit! I don't want to give anyone the idea that I back out when the going gets tough...I love racing because it is tough! I love pushing into my physical limits and doing more then my brain or body wants me to. But I also want to take care of my body. Push it hard, yes. Damage it badly, no. And Achilles tendons aren't good to mess with. If I am injured then running on would be stupid, and I am injured...but I could probably make 60 miles before I HAD to drop out.

By the time I reached mile 45, I had settled on dropping at the 50. I was 100% positive I was out of the 100. And if I stopped at 50, I would take 1st place in the 50mile race for my team. In all honesty, I felt a little guilt winning the 50 miler. I know logical I won it. I was the first female to finish the 50 mile race. But I hadn't raced it...I was planing on racing the 100 and things just went bad. But I still finished first...Oh the internal battles I was having.

All told I had a great time. Joe (the race directer and my coach) is awesome. He puts on great races and this one is up on the top of the list of his races. A hard course that is totally honest and full of fun people to run with. And there were plenty of unofficial volunteers helping out the runners at the aid stations, too. Seeing so many runners in costume was a blast! I got to spend lots of time with my parents and sister. And I am hoping I had a great 50 miles training run for Bandera 100k in January.

Now I am home. I made it on the flights I needed to to get back last night. Time to do laundry, clean floors, and find a good sports doctor to visit so I can start training again!!

Will I make it??

2009-10-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

What a day. The kids had a snow day today, October 29th. All schools in the district closed and about 2 feet of snow on the ground at home. Craziness, but fun. I was super excited to have them home with me b/c I am supposed to fly out to San Antonio today. I have 100 mile race in Bandera on Halloween that I am extra excited about. It will be hard, but I am feeling ready for this. That has only happened for me at 1 other ultra- Hells Hills in June.

I finished packing my drop-bags today. All four of them. And I packed what I'd need for tonight and tomorrow after, 'cause the not running part isn't too important. All I am missing are a few UD bottles (couldn't pick up because the store closed w/ all the snow) and boiled eggs which I will take care of in SA.

At about 1:30 this afternoon I picked up my giant suitcases, pried the snow sealed trunk up with my frozen hands, and load the kidos into the car. (One thing you should know: We live in a cul-de-sac and snowplows don't go down our street.) We were parked in the drive way b/c I couldn't get the car back into the garage after taking Dan to work this morning- too steep of a snow covered incline. I started the car, backed up, and could go no farther. So I tried turning forward. No luck.

Out of the car and into the garage for snow shovels we went. I instructed the kids to dig around the tires. When they struck ice, I broke it up and moved the ice over. Back in the car. Too bad for me, we didn't get much farther. The Taurus just isn't meant for this!! Time for dig out the car round two. Ugh to getting the same results!

This time, when we were out digging, Everett went and rang a neighbors door. Our neighbor Roger came out to help, thank you GOD and Roger!!!! Before much longer, we were on our way, driving a blazing 15miles an hour through the snowy hood. Once we hit the real streets, driving was much easier because of the snowplows.

All told, I arrived at the airport in plenty of time to check in for my delayed flight. Only I'm on stand by and the flight is full!!! Currently waiting.....please, someone stay in Denver! :)

2009-08-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not tiered...I should be in bed, but no point yet. So why not blog??

Today was an OK day. Went for a nice easy 16mile run after dropping the kidos of at school, having a little nap and an early lunch. I am so in need of a massage right now. (But NO MONEY. What can I say? Moving up here drained our bank account below zero. Sooo worth it.) Being I live on a big hill surrounded by more giant hills, the only why to get in an "easy" run is to force myself to slow down or hop in a treadmill. I opted (as usual) to go slow. Not fun, but with the mountains to look at it was still quite a nice 16 miles. Only my legs are trashed!!! All the hills (mountains, actually!) I've been running have me in need of getting my legs torched by a sports therapist. I'm always a bit envious of the guys who can afford to get massages regularly, buy new running shes every 400miles, run in only non-stinky and hole free running gear, travel the world to races, drive nice cars, have an i-phone or Blackberry...but then I remind myself of why those things aren't in my life......I have 3 beautiful children who I know personally. I get to make homemade meals and bake cookies from scratch. When my house is "messy", I can still have it cleaned top to bottom in less then 3 hours. I get to run 90miles a week and still spend hours with my husband, who makes enough money to support this family of five at his 80 hours every 2 weeks, over-time free, job. Sure I drive a 2004 Torus with 3 torn up booster seats across the backseat. And ya, half my running socks have holes in them. And I promise you, you don't want sit next to me after a run. But all told, I'd pick the life I have. Who needs an i-phone when they have a man who cleans toilets and does dishes at 4 in the morning? No. I think I don't want that massage as bad as I thought I did. I'd rather have the life I have.

Caedmon and a couple memories

2009-08-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I was cleaning the floors while Caedmon (my youngest at 5) was working on his "All About Me" poster for school. He was on a bubble that said "draw your family in here". As he drew, he talked to himself out loud. "First Daddy....I need the brown.....there....He has a penis, so I'll draw that..." At that point I walked over to the table to help Caed out. But He had moved on. "And he has shorts over..." Checking the picture, all I saw was brown Dad in shorts, so I patted Caed's head and went back to mopping. Next came Everett (6 year old brother). When he voiced that he was drawing Everett's privet part, I said, "Caed, you don't need to draw what is under the cloths. Just draw us all in cloths." But he assured me that wasn't right, and he insisted he would cover us all in cloths AFTER drawing us. (!!!!)

This reminded me of two other things Caedmon did years back along these lines. At the age of 2, he made a "boy" angel out of play dough in Bible class. Luckily his teacher was a good friend of mine and fellow mom who got a kick out of it.

Less then a year latter (he was already 3), the Bible story was Adam and Eve. For the craft, they had the 3 year olds glue dye-cut Adam and Eve on a piece of paper. Then the teacher let them draw on faces and handed the kids yarn saying, "Glue the hair on" Caedmon's Adam and Eve were unclothed and post pubescent. I about died!!!!!

8K Mountain Race

2009-07-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

KILLED! But I tried....:)

Dan woke me up about 4:30am this morning for coffee and breakfast. I got dressed, headed down stairs, made an egg-cheese-english muffin sandwich, and ate. We loaded the 3 kids into the car and left for CO Springs a few minutes past 5am.

At about 6:35am I checked in at the start area and then ran my warm up. I was feeling completely hesitant about running this morning. It was raining and I was so not prepared for such a short race. As I stretched at the stating line, I was wishing I was volunteering instead of racing. But alas, we were off. I started out in the 2end row of runners, and started counting how many ladies were ahead of me when we formed a line for the first narrow up around .15 miles in. I was in 16th place. I figured that was a great place for me to be. I could try to hold this spot, and if I felt good after a mile or so, I could start passing. At about .5 miles in, we hit a water station and the hill. Well, I guess it was a "climb", being this was a mountain race, and we went up for about 1.25 miles. I tried to hold my 9ish minute a mile pace. My body wouldn't let me. After running up for almost 1 mile, feeling my legs tighten and my breathing pick up, I decided it was a great time for a walk break. One lady behind me passed at my offer, but the other said "No. This is a good time to walk." I told her I was ready for some down, and she assured me it was coming soon. We turned around at the top, and I let my legs turn over fast for the 1ish mile down before the 2end loop. My GPS had me at under 6's for that stretch both times I went down it. At the turn-around and go back up area, I smiled and cheered at one of the volunteers, who said I was looking too fresh. I told him the darn hill wouldn't let me run up it, so I still had a lot of energy. He laughed, but that is truly the feeling I had. I was trying to make my legs go, and I couldn't. After the race, I learned some of what was going on. But back to the race.

It wasn't too steep of a climb and not at all technical. I would describe it as a fast mountain running course. I wasn't fast, but the course was. My GPS had the total distance at 5.68miles- not the said 5. And the park maps have it at 5.5 or more. I finished in 47:21. 17th place out of like 35 ladies. My husband said he couldn't believe there were that many ladies at this race faster then me, but this race was nothing like what I am good at. It was my first time running in the mountains, my first race in elevation, shorter then my current tempo runs, and completely non-technical trails. All considering, I am feeling like I did well to run those 5.68 miles in under 48mins!!

After the race, I went for a run. I wanted to run to the top of the little mountain I was on, and I wanted to get in at least another 8 miles. (this weeks miles are LOW!!!!) I started up the mountain on the road, b/c I didn't know the trails around this place and I didn't like the idea of running with mountain lions by myself. After going up for about 2 miles, I debated going back down. But dang, that place was beautiful! I just kept my comfy slow pace going up and enjoyed the view. Around 3 miles, the road ended. But there was a wide trail that kept going up. Up I went. At 4.13miles, I was at the top! There were clouds below me and a beautiful valley showing through beneath the clouds. It was breath taking. Running down was crazy! I just ran comfortably, but it was steep...so I was flying! It had taken me about 44mins to get up, and less then 30 to go down. The bottoms of my feet were actually getting hot, which was a bit saddening. I may need to look for a "mountain" shoe to run in.

Speaking of shoes, my Brooks T5's did great for the 8K. In fact, they were just perfect today outside of heating up on the 11mile run after. They weren't slippery on the crushed granite and they held my foot well on the long ups/ downs which kept my toes happy. And being they don't have lugs, the rain didn't slow me down.

Earlier I mentioned that I started walking b/c my breathing was getting hard. After the race and my run, I went up to congratulate the Jr. Man's winner. While talking with him and his dad, I learned a few things about running in Mountains. They said I should let my breathing get hard. I need to force my lugs to take in more oxygen then I am use to. And being this was a short race with a large down, I wish I would have tried that. Too bad, b/c I don't plan on running another short race anytime soon!!!!

2009-07-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile. Mostly b/c I lost my Mac in the move. But now I have it back!!!! Long story, but Woo-hoo for a happy ending!!!
We have been in CO for over 6 weeks now. I truly love getting to live here. The mountains are breath taking and I am just in shock over how lovely this summer is. I am actually liking summer...something new to me. Running has been wonderful, too. It is cool in the mornings and evenings and warm for most of the day, so I can run any time I get the chance and enjoy it. This weekend I'm running a race. It is an 8k mountain race. Daniel signed me up for it. I have no clue how I will do. I have never run any sort of race like this. I could see doing awesome, but I haven't been training with this race in mind, and it is sorta a top notch race. Money prizes for the top5 finishers and the top 2 earn a spot on a racing team. While I realize I could place in the top 5, I truly don't expect to. I've been focusing on a 100miler in October. Lots of long runs- some easy, some tempo stuff, hills, and fartleks. Nothing under 7 miles. BUT I have put in some awesome fast 27mile trail run... Still, this hard 8k will be just a killer. VERY different from what I am use to. No loss, though. I have enjoyed the down time and mileage drop the last 2 weeks. And I will get to meet some of Colorado's top runners.
(WARNING: Personal info to follow)
Unfortunately this is a bad time for me to race. I always run like crap the week leading up to the start of my cycle. I know this is likely too much info for some, but monthly cycles are a large part of racing, being I have a 1 in 4 chance of a race landing on a "bad" week for me. I hate that I can't run close to the same speeds the week before my cycle. I have tried changing my diet, drinking more, sleeping more, but nothing seems to help. I just can't run as fast this week. But starting on day 1 and some times a day or two before, I am back to 100%. I am hoping Sunday is close enough to day 1 for me to do well. Too bad. Luck of the draw, I guess.

On another personal note, I was happy to see that I can take Effexor XR and train and race legally under USATF rules. I wish I didn't need that med., but it makes all the deference for me. It is funny to me how people so often assume that endurance athletes have it all together. But the truth is, forcing myself to find the strength and focus to train and race ultra events has helped me deal sanely with the rest of my life. Maybe getting to be extrema in one area tames the others. Or maybe getting to prove to myself through training and racing that I am capable of doing and handling so much more then I thought I could gives me the drive to live my everyday life. I don't know exactly why, but I do know that running helps me. My running has changed me and my life in ways I never would have imagined. Unfortunately, running isn't enough. This part is hard for me. I want to be strong enough. I want to be able to pull resources and tap into unseen strength from my Father and other beings, and that be more then enough. There is a song "All of You, is more then enough for, all of me..." That song makes me cry. Oh how I wish that were true. I long for that. But I am made weak...without Effexor, I am far from the athlete, mother, person I believe I was created to be. That is the simple truth. Getting out of bed can be hard, playing with my children imposable. It is something I just don't understand. But I am grateful that God made people smart enough to create this drug and gave my doctor the wisdom to get me to try it. I wish I didn't need it, but I am grateful that I have it.

It's time to go to the park. "What?," you say. "Go to the park at 12:20pm in July?"
Yeppers. I'll get my Diet Mountain Dew, drive my kids to a park, and read while they play. It will be awesome, because the humidity is low and it is likely under 90. :)

EVERYONE: send hate mail toThe Green Movers..J/K...sorta

2009-06-13T13:35:00.001-07:00

AH! I am a bit fed up with the Green Moving company. They are, I am afraid, the WORST moving company around! First they said they would show up Wednesday June 3erd b/w 10 and Noon to pack us. They showed up at 3:15pm. The foremen then did a walk through of our house and said the total price to move us would be about $6,000, maybe $6,400...not the same number they gave us on the phone, but we decided to leave stuff behind to try and stay under $6,000. The foreman spent about 90% of his time at my house on the phone, talking to someone in another language. The other 3 guys did most of the packing...only 2 of them had never packed a house before and were getting instructions as they went (read:slow and they broke stuff. Yes, they did. They broke pictures.). Also, at least 2 of the 4 guys took a smoke break every hour(Um...GREEN movers?). When Dan asked them not to smoke in the house (DUH!) they moved to the front yard, where they LEFT THEIR BUTTS IN MY YARD!!!! Finally, at 1am, they finished packing us. That is when we were told to sign a paper agreeing to a price of 8,600 dollars. What? No thanks. I asked them to please start taking boxes off the truck, but the foreman refused. Instead he said he was sure this situation would be handled to our satisfaction in the next day. He told us our things would likely arrive in Colorado on Tuesday the 9th, but he couldn't promise anything in less then 10 days. The movers left, with most of our stuff, but not everything in the walk through by a long shot, in their truck, for Dallas.

The next day, after lots of time on the phone, they had dropped the price to 8,450 dollars and expected us to be happy. Yah, right. When all was said and done we agreed to pay 7,900 dollars for their services...which weren't worth it, but what choice did we have? They had our things in Dallas!

Now here we are on Saturday, June 13th. Unless our stuff left this morning, it is still in Dallas, waiting for "the next truck" to leave for Colorado. This is not cool of them. I feel like they are a bunch of lier's and cheaters. Which totally sucks, b/c I normally like people. I WANT to like people. Maybe individually these people are great, but when they call themselves the "Green Movers", who plant trees to move you, they suck hard!

Oh. And they won't tell us the weight of the truck. I am soo sure they packed us poorly..but that is more of some of the same from above.

Colorado!!

2009-06-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

We are here! And so far, I am loving it. I lost my computer, the moving guys haven't called giving us an ETA on the arrival of or stuff, but I don't think anything could steel the happiness I feel over getting to live here. When we got here last night, I was wishing for a thicker sweatshirt and jeans. I am just in awe over this. It is June and beautiful out! Thank you God for Colorado!

The kids are loving our house here. It is 2 story and has a walkout basement. they just ran circle through the house for a full thirty minutes last night. I couldn't believe how excited they were and are. I will try to post some pictures soon...but being I don't have a computer at home right now, it may be awhile. Thank you to all of you for the prayers and emails. And THANK YOU to Mike and Raena for helping us clean out the house Monday!!!! You two are such great friends. we will be missing you a lot.

Rocky Hill Ranch/ Hells Hills- July 6,2009

2009-06-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

WOO-HOO!!! I ran a race and did well. :) Going into this race, I did A LOT of personal research and preparation to try and improve how I felt during a race. I have felt "off" for about a year with my running in races, so this just feels GREAT! OK, here is the report... more detailed then most of my reports, b/c I want to put in my race day prep.

Daniel and I are in the process of moving to CO. On Wednesday, the moving guys came and packed up our house (mostly..but that and the stress of this move is another story for another time). We woke up at a little before 3am, rolled of the not too comfy comforter on the floor, and began getting ready to race. I made 3 English muffin, egg and cheese sandwiches (low fat cheese in 3 different flavors), ate 1.4 of them, and left the rest for Dan. Then I took a lukewarm shower to let my skin soak up water to capacity. I know this sounds funny. But Dan has been doing research and experimenting with hydration. This trick he read about worked for him, so I wanted to give it a try. Then I drunk some water and took 1 S Cap.

We left our house a little after 3:30 and headed to Smithvillie. About 4:45am, we pulled through a McDonalds drive through for coffee. I had a large nonfat mocha, 3 (not 6) pumps of chocolate and yes to the wiped cream.

We got to Rocky Hill Ranch at 5:50, and I took another S Cap. Being the race started at 6am, we hurried through check-in and a potty stop. I grabbed 2 Hammer Gels and the race began. Aid stations were at 5.5miles, 10.5, and then the start/finish area at 15.5 miles. My nutrition plan was to carry my S Caps and gels, but drink the water only at the aid stations. At the 1st station, I ate a Hammer Gel and drunk 2 cups of water. My running plan was to start at a comfortable pace that didn't feel slow. I knew from my current long runs this would be under 7mph, but over 6.5. I figured I would pick the pace up to hit 14 in about 2 hrs and then take it from there based on how I was feeling. At the end of the first hour, my Garmin 405 said I had run 6.9 miles. :) I was feeling great, and ready to pick it up. Just before the next aid station, I ate another gel and took another S Cap. At the station I drunk 3 cups of water. I finished the first 15.5 mile loop in about 2:08, and I was feeling great!! It was getting hot, but I was feeling ready to take on the heat. I ditched my soaking shirt, grabbed 3 more Hammer Gels, drank lots of water and started loop 2. Shortly after starting this loop, my legs started feeling heavy, so I followed my instinct and downed a gel. I reached the 1st aid station in just under 3hrs, took 1 cap, another gel, and 3 more cups of water. At this point I was supper excited. I was over 21 miles into this 50k, running in the heat, and still feeling great! For the next 10 miles I just run as hard as I could get myself to run with out getting out of breath. I walked the 2 mondo hills in the last 3miles, but really pushed the end other then that. I finished in 4:20:41. First female, second finisher. But the more exciting part for me was getting to set a new course record. :) I've never done that before. :) :)

Also extreamly exciting: Daniel finished his 1st ultra!!!!! GO DANIEL!!!!!!!!!! I love my hubby.:)

Seren Dancing

2009-05-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

2009-04-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

He has risen. He has risen indeed.
What a day. Bible readings, prayers, Easter egg hunts, family and fun.
My Father in Law is still in the hospital. He isn't doing as well these last few days as he had been, and we don't know when he will be getting out. We took the kids to see him this morning. It was a nice visit. I am praying for his recovery and patience in enduring this.

We are trying to get our house ready to list. Oh the kill joy in this move. But I am thinking it won't be too bad. Hope, hope. Maybe it will sell or rent fast.

Nothing to report running wise. Had an easy week and took the day off today. That makes 3 days off this week and only 47 miles. But I have a 50k this coming Saturday so what the hay. Might as well enjoy some big down time and fun with the family. And hospital visits. And major weird house work. Like painting and planting rose bushes and looking at houses in CO...not on my normal house work list but needs to be done.

The past 2 weeks

2009-04-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to post much about what is going on. So here is a recap of the big events of the last two weeks.

My little brother, Brent, had heart surgery last week. The surgery took longer then expected, but went well. It was supposed to be an out patient surgery (crazy to me!). He needed to lay flat on his back and stay very still for 4hrs after the surgery to allow the arteries where the catheters were put in to close. But someone made a mistake. I'm not sure why, but before his 4hrs had passed, his nurse wanted him to sit up and eat. When he sat up, he started losing blood. For the next 8 or so hours, he was loosing blood. His heart rate kept dropping, and they were having a hard time getting it back up with saline. When all was said and done, Brent was doing well. He was able to go home after about 24hrs in the hospital and was feeling ok. Weak and tired from the blood lose, but doing well.
Hopefully the surgery fixed Brent's arrhythmia. But we won't know for sure for a few more weeks.

Currently my Father in Law is in the hospital. This past Sunday evening he went into the emergency room with what was first thought to be heart failure. He has a bad heart, and has been in the hospital for his heart before. It is funny to me to write "bad heart". My Father in Law has a wonderful heart, nothing "bad" about it. "Weak" is likely a better choice of word. But 5 days and many tests later, they aren't sure what exactly is wrong. The cat scan showed TB or maybe fluid on the lungs. Both of those have now been ruled out and he is feeling better, though not good. Last night we were allowed to take our kids to see him. He looked and sounded pretty good, but they still had him on oxygen. A little scary for me, given my past experience with loosing my Grandma.

It is as official as it will get before it actually happens. We are moving to CO! I am super excited!!! I just can't believe it...

Colorado

2009-04-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

It looks like it is going to happen. We won't decide officially until this Friday, but we are strongly leaning towards moving to CO. Wow! I so badly want to go, but I am scared, too. This will be a big change for our family. Are we ready????
It is sorta a strange happening that I will miss so much about Texas and I want to go. The mountains are calling to me. I want to breath the cold air and get numb from running in the snow. I LOVE the cold. San Antonio is just not the place for me...what more can I say?
I will miss my family tons. They do so much for us, and I know they want us to stay. It won't be the same with us in CO. But it won't be a bad change. We will still see you, Mom. Not weekly, but often. I promise. And we will call you on the web cam at least once a week.
I will greatly miss getting to be a part of Team Traverse. I am grateful to our sponsors for their support of our team and will feel lonely running on my own up there. And what will I do without a coach? My goodness...I might run myself into the ground.
Changes are coming. I am hoping for them to be good. If anyone who reads this is willing, please add us to your prayers as we make our decisions final.

2009-03-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

I got 68 miles last week. :) Hoping for 70-75 this week. My knee is feeling just awesome. I finally feel like I am training again. Yeah.
This week I go to CO with Dan. He has interviews and I will look at houses. And RUN IN THE MOUNTAINS!!!!!! WOO-OHO!!!!!!!! I still think we won't be moving. But we need to be ready if we are.
Back to folding the laundry. Oh joy.

2009-03-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

Yeah! I think my knee is almost back to 100%. So far this week I have run over 32miles, over half of which was hard, and my knee still feels great. :) And I still have 3 days left to run. And no long run yet. :) But I will still be careful with it. No pounding out the downs for awhile. And no speed work on the trails yet. Maybe soon...I hope...but I will be patient with myself.
Goal this week: 63-68miles with my long run back on the trails. :)

2009-03-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting to say much until I know more. But time is going by and so much is still up in the air. Next week Dan has several interviews in Colorado. They all look promising. We might actually be moving to Colorado soon...like the end of May. Crazy. But unless Daniel finds a job he likes here, we will move. I thought Austin might be an option, and I guess it still is. But Dan hasn't pursued any jobs there. Honestly, I would LOVE to live in CO. But I will miss so much down here if we move. Like my running team. If any of you Traverse guys read this, I promise I will let all of you know what is happening as soon as I know. And I WILL be at the Rouge and Captain Carl's races this summer either way. That much is certain.

Melanie needs...

2009-02-28T10:06:00.000-08:00

OK. I couldn't help it. A friend of mine posted a note listing her top 10 needs. She googled her first name followed by needs and posted the first 10 things. Here is mine.

1. Melanie needs to accept that no one is self-sufficient all the time, and to be gentler with her "childish" emotional needs and wants.
HUMM.....

2. Melanie needs to find a happy medium between being a strong female and being overzealous.
Do I, now?

3. Melanie needs to become more tolerant, especially of emotions.
I'm starting to think google dosen't really know me.

4.Melanie needs to add some sparkle and color back to her wardrobe.
Sure. Why not?

5. Melanie needs help in the morning.
With making lunches?

6. Melanie needs to hire someone to fix this mess.
What mess? Google is crazy off.

7. Melanie needs help.
Can't argue that one.

8. Melanie Needs to Study.
Nope.

9. Melanie needs to travel a long way in a short time.
I wish I could.

10. Melanie needs a diamond necklace.
Ah. The truth, at last. I need a diamond necklace. :)

Now what

2009-02-28T07:46:00.000-08:00

Frustration. It is a perfect cool-almost-cold day for running. But no running for me. Not today. Not tomorrow (if I'm smart). Maybe not Monday either. Such a bummer. My left knee is having issues. I just don't get it. I've been running for 15 years and had about 4 injuries...all in the last year! My mileage has been down and intensity way down. So why am I still fighting off injuries? Blah. Maybe this knee thing is tied to the flu...which I am trying not to have. My success has been intermittent in this. But currently I have no fever. My temperature hasn't reached 101 at all and it hasn't stayed over 100 for even a whole day. But still, maybe my knee and this flu thing are connected. Rest sucks. I think I need to go workout.

My first 100 mile run

2009-02-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

I am happy to say I have now run 100 miles. Before I get into details from Rocky Raccoon, here is what I wanted going into this. I didn't want to race. I didn't want to push my body into an uncomfortable place unless it was purely in order to finish. I love running and I even love racing. But I have been recovering form injuries and haven't been able to race since August. I have, in the past, felt a lot of pressure to live up to other people's expectations for my running/racing. I needed a change. A "race" that would be a do able challenge on its own. Something I could go into with absolutely no expectations and no thoughts of racing- only finishing. My goals where to 1. finish, 2. Learn about 100 mile runs, how my body handles it, and how others race them, and 3. HAVE FUN!!! I am happy to say I accomplished all three goals. Goal number 2 only partly, but at least I got some good work on that one. And lots of notes to learn from.

I woke up on race morning about 4:15am. After showering and putting on my running things, Daniel and I headed down to the lobby for breakfast. The hotel we stayed at was great. They had a good breakfast ready for all the runners at 4:45am. I had 2 hard boiled eggs and an English muffin. Before leaving for the race, I grabbed some coffee. Dan had called the Starbucks across the street the night before and they said they would be open at 4:45. But I grabbed coffee just in case. It is a good thing I did!! That Starbucks was still closed at 5:10. We could see the barrista's in there getting things ready, but they weren't taking orders. Glad I had my back up coffee!!

At 6am it was time to go. I started the race with a friend of mine from SA named Liza. We talked and ran together through the first two aid stations (about 6miles). Then we parted ways a bit at Dam Road. My aid station plan was to use a hand held bottle through all the close aid stations (3-4.6 miles apart) and my waist pack through the Dam road part. The course was designed with a 6ish mile loop starting and ending at Dam Road. I also took off my head light and left my hand held flash light in this drop bag because I wouldn't need them again until night. After downing a carton of chocolate milk and putting on my waist pack, I was off.

For some reason this section of the course was very slow for me. But it was beautiful. On the way out of Dam Road, I dropped my pack, picked up my hand held bottle, had some more choc-o milk and left. We had about 8 more miles to go before hitting the start/turnaround/after-5-loops-a-finish area. I finished loop one in about 3:10. And I was feeling like a turtle. At that time, Jamie and Liza had already left for loop two. I think a lady named Julie was eating when I left for loop 2. I was disappointed, because Daniel wasn't there and he had my electrolytes. It was getting hot...but what could I do? I had electrolytes at Dam road. But I had expected to get them from Dan here. After asking around for some with no success, I left.

Shortly after my legs started cramping. I knew Dan would show up at the next aid station with my Succeed, so I tried to just ignore it. After all, this was a short little 3 mile section. When I got to that aid, Daniel was there. Along with our 3 treasures and my parents. Dan filled my bottle, said sorry for thinking I had started at 6:30 and not 6, gave me succeed and a few extra for my bottle bag, gave me food, and I was off once again.

The next 40ish miles passed in much the same pattern. Lots of eating, drinking, electrolyte tablets, and a few bathroom breaks. (Bodies. I tell ya'!) But I couldn't get the cramping in my legs to let up. I really was tinkling a lot, so I upped my electrolytes to 2 succeeds an hour and an occasional Enduralyte on top of that. But nothing was helping. I have a huge problem with cramping up in the heat (it got up to 81). Someday, somehow, I want to solve this problem. The cramping was slowing me down, but this was a 100 mile event. Being I could still run, I did my best to stay comfortable and just have fun. After all, the cramping could have stopped.

At about mile 63 I no longer felt like running on my cramping legs. I knew I COULD, but it would have sucked. I had decided going into this that I wanted to have fun. And having run 40 or so miles with leg cramps was starting to cause some major leg discomfort. I struggled with my competitive self for a little while. If I just pushed on, I could likely hold 3erd place. But that would mean the rest of this race would suck. Finishing and placing well would be great, but the running to do so wouldn't. I let it go. I wanted to have fun. There would be other 100 milers in the future that I could train better for and push the lines on. I wanted to enjoy this first one to its fullest.

It got dark about the time I finished 70 miles. Luckily, I had my favorite lights in the right drop bag. Dan had back up lights, but I was happy to have the ones I like most on hand when I needed them.

I had asked Daniel to be ready to pace me after dark. When I got mile 75.6, Dan was ready to go with me for last 24.4miles. As we left the aid station, I told him I was just wanting to walk, talk a little, and enjoy sharing this experience with my husband. He was happy to oblige.

We really were just walking. An occasional granny jog, but the jog was arguably slower then the walk. I think we covered the next 12 miles in about 4hrs. But we were having a great time! We started off with Daniel singing to me as we went. Then we sang some together. We talked about all sorts of things and did some wooping to keep our spirits up. During the Dam road loop we said our favorite long passage to try and eat up time. I think it worked. But man, walking is way slow. I must have thought 20 glow sticks were the turn spot where they take our numbers down. Finally, we hit that turn! I was pumped! We had a little more then 10 miles to go! I was going to be a 100 mile fisher!! I picked our walk up to a power hike. We hit the 90 mile area, did an attitude check (hu!), and I started to run. That was when I got a nice face full on sand for the first time. Blah. My heart was ready to get into running again. My legs said, "Wow Anie. Whats up with running down a hill after having covered 90 miles today? Not happening..."

When we left Dam Road, I was super excited. 8 miles to go! Just a little 8 miles. After 92, what ta-hay is 8 more? WOO HOO! This time when I tried to run, my legs cooperated. It was a slow run, but I could feel my legs loosing up as we went. I think the coolness of the night was helping the cramping fad away. The coolness and the excitement. When we got to the last aid station, I looked at my watch. All day long I had been doing my best to ignore that thing. But now I was ready to guess my finishing time. My watch said I had been running for 19:20. We were 4.4 miles from the finish, so......maybe I would be done in 20:20. Good. I could run/walk/jog this last 4.4 miles to the finish in an hour. I was sure.( I thought it was 4.6...)

I started out with a comfy jog that turned to a fast walk on the first hill. But when we started down that hill, I let myself go. And yeah!! This time my legs really went!!!!!!! I looked at my watch again when we hit a turn that was over a mile but less then two miles from the finish. 19:56! Wow! I might finish in 20:15! Dan and I did some more wooping and I started running for real. It felt great to run again. Truly, this was the fastest I had run alllllllll day loooooooong. I was so excited!! 11 minutes later, I finished. Taking off my head light as I stepped on the mat, I turned a summer salt and landed on my back, arms open to the sky, in 20:07.

As I sat and chatted at the finish line, several people asked me what place I had come in. I was thrilled with the fact that I didn't know. Maybe 5th...but I had tried to ignore that. Of course I couldn't completely ignore it, but I had done my best to let all that go. I finished my first 100 miler! And I had a blast doing it. The best part was getting to share so much of it with my favorite person in the world while enjoying being together. I likely won't get that out of another 100 miler. Certainly not if I am racing!

Daniel and I hung out a while longer. My friend Liza was still out there, and I wanted to see her finish. She finished in 21:33, sealing her win of the Texas Trilogy. Liza took 2end at the Bandera 100k on January 7th (8th 9th? Not sure.) and I think 4th at the Sunmart 50 mile run in December. Those 3 races made up the trilogy. Next year Cactus Rose 50 will replace Sunmart 50 for the trilogy. This was Liza's first 100 miler too. Go LIZA!!

The next morning at the awards ceremony, I was happy to find out I had placed 4th. It was fun to get a little extra treat with this run. And Liza had finished 5th. I am super excited to train and race a 100 miler in the future. This was such a great experience all the way around. I had so much fun that I am reserving the right to run and not race any "race" I want to in the future!!! But I do plan on racing a 100 someday, too. :) Racing is fun in such a different, masochistic way.

Things I left out that might be of interest:

For 3.5 miles I had to carry my bottle funny because the valve started leaking. Water was just splashing out the top like the lid was open, only it was surely closed. Just broken.

Twinkies are sooo good after 60miles. I was drooling at the thought of getting another Twinkie from my bag after having eaten my first one.

I ate at least 5 whole PB and J's over the course of this run. Along with 2 cartons of chocolate milk, 3 Twinkies, a couple hands full of Gummie Bears, maybe 8 Oreos, a Chex bar, some potatoes (Very good), a few slices of quesadia, a few veggie meat balls, 4 Red Bull's, ????water????, ?????heed????, some Jellie Bellies, a little Coke, and 1 hard candie. I think thats it. But I might have missed stuff.

When my legs were cramping at their worst, I switched to Gatoraid in my bottles. It didn't help the cramps. :(

I wish I could post the funny things I saw and did. Only this is a family blog. And most of you guys truly don't want to know. I get that. Just let me say ultra runers are a diffrent breed of person. I am glad to be an ultra runner girl!

Febuary

2009-02-02T13:47:00.000-08:00

This is shaping up to be an eventful month....and it is only the 3erd.

1.My car is gone. :( A lady hit me and that is the end.
2.We might move...but only if Dan can't find a job in SA. But we don't know how long he has to look...his project is going down...soon(???). Maybe this month. Or in May. Or August.
3.I have my first 100 mile run on Saturday. At least this one is my choice! And fun. :)

Life.

2009-01-17T12:22:00.000-08:00

I just ran for about 7 hours and did 46 miles. The break up is 46 miles of moving in 6:59:33, plus about 10mins of changing shoes, opening and drinking soup, etc. I am super excited, because this run was really easy physically. The strain was convincing my brain to start another trip out my garage after having run 33 miles and 5hrs. I was thinking that was enough...but... yeah for sticking with it... I needed to go for 7hrs. I am thinking I will do a 100miler in 3 weeks. Just for fun and with the only goal being to finish. So today was key. Amazingly I ran a pretty even pace the whole time. I felt like I could have kept that same pace going...not sure tell when. But at least another 10ish miles.
What I learned:
1. I like the Pearls better for super long stuff. They keep my legs and back feeling less strained.
2. DRINK, DRINK, electrolytes, DRINK. Maybe 2 cups an hour and one pill for every 2-3 cups.
3. I like to eat plain bread and soup.
4. Eating so a must! I could feel the difference when I went over 10miles w/o food. I should be eating more often. Like every hour.

So I got in a fun run and learned a lot about running long today. What a good day. And I still have Jenna's wedding to go to! Yeah for weddings!!!!

Bandera 2009

2009-01-11T10:43:00.000-08:00

What a race!! What an awesome, butt kicking race. I registered for the 100k wanting to run better then I did last year. This was a very realistic goal, because I ran last year underprepared for that mileage and without electrolytes on a hot day. But I all told, my mental game got me through with a good finish of 11:25. This year, things had potential to go awesome for me. But I pushed my body too hard in training, didn't allow myself adequate recovery time from injures, and ended up toeing the line of this 100k VERY untrained. But I had to try. All year long my biggest running goal has been to run under 11hrs on this course. I know I am very capable of doing it. But the training needs to be there. After running an easy 50k in 5:15, I was ready to quit. My ankles and knees were hurting on the down hills in a way that I could tell was warning of injury. My body just wasn't ready to take the pounding that course gives it. Too bad. Yesterday was just a great day for that course in so many ways. The ground was dry, there was a little cloud cover, and the high was only in the upper 50's. The only draw back was the wind gusts on the flats. But I had to give it a go. I am glad I did. Knowing I wasn't ready beats wondering if I could have done it.
A giant congrats to the female winners. Marcy Beard (1st) just ran awesome. She gutted out that second 50k, passing the 2end (Liza Howard-11:48) and 4th (Bridget DeLaRosa, also under 12hrs) place females. Melissa Heggen just rocked all day, scoring a PR in the 11s and placing 3erd female. GO LADIES!!!!! That course kicks butt, and you gals kicked its right back!!

Bandera is Coming

2009-01-06T12:12:00.000-08:00

I am planing on racing the 100k this Saturday at Bandera. Give all or crash trying. Truthfully, I think I can do this. I feel unprepared, but I have never run this race prepared. I might even be more prepared to cover the distance this year then in the last 2 years. But that course is tough. My legs might not handle the pounding well with the layoff I had. In any case, I am going to try! I am excited to try. If I have to drop, then I will see about training for Rocky Raccoon 100. But I think I can do it!!!!

Where am I at

2008-12-28T09:30:00.000-08:00

This past month or so has been hard for me. My running has been close to nil. And my mood has been gloomy because of this lingering injury. It all started this past summer. I ran a race in August while I had some tightness in my left foot and calf. While running this night trail race in the rain and mud, I jammed my ankle bad. Well, I thought I jammed my ankle. The sport doc I saw on November 24th said I broke that ankle. No wonder it is still sore. Apparently, all the running I was doing with a broken left ankle caused me to put stress on my right thigh/ hip area, causing a "stress spot". Luckily I didn't push hard enough to fracture my thigh. But I've had to take a break from running. For 2 weeks I ran nothing, and for the next to weeks I ran very little. This past week I have been able to get in some good runs. Only if I want to race Bandera on January 10th, it is now tapper time. Truthfully, my training has been spotty since June. I have a fuzzy idea of where I am at in terms of my running right now. I love running. I love pushing myself hard. I want to feel my physical limits and then push through them mentally. If I run the 50k or the 100k at Bandera, I can- will have to- push hard. That course is a butt kicker. And so fun. Rocky, hilly, and the weather is always a surprise. Maybe 81 degrees with out a cloud for cover. Maybe 29 and rainy, or any where in between. I'd have fun just being out there helping with the race. So what do I do? 50k or 100k? 2 weeks to decide.

This Maze

2008-12-11T19:17:00.001-08:00

I have a very rough version of this song. I have been wanting to work on the instrumental for this and flesh it out before I posted it. This song has a lot of meaning for me and it is so far from finished. Being a mom is such a strange blessing...I love my kid and am more grateful to God for them then words or even music could ever say. But it is a hard blessing. I think mothers and fathers of multiple little children will get this song. But I know not everyone will. Here is what I have now, minus the melody.

I'm Staring at the writing on my wall,

wanting Lord to see your hand.

I feel myself, I'm crumbling beneath the weight,

of these Gifts that You gave me.

And I don't know why....Please open my eyes.

'Cause I'm blinded by what's here and now,

this destruction so confusing.

I've lost Your way looking for an out.

Can't take what You gave me.

I'm lonely, and never alone.

Little touches bring insanity.

I'm running, but I don't want out.

I just need You to save me.

Keep me lost in this maze.

Don't let me find my way out.

My dreams are dying,

wish I was flying...

Over these walls.

I know You have a plan for me,

and these children You gave me.

But I'm confused and lost inside.

It's hard for me to see You,

through my flooded room,

and emptied cupboards.

I don't understand,

why You've made me their mother.

I'm so lost in this maze.

I can't find my way out.

My dreams are dying.

Wish I was flying...

Over these walls.

I'm trying hard.

You've made me so weak.

Lord help me be, the mom they need me to be.

Keep me lost in this maze.

Don't let me find my way out.

Catch me Lord.

I need your strength to make it through these days.

Lord, let me see Your hand in the writing on my wall.

Sometime in Spring, 2007

2008-11-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

My Boys, continued.

I was tiered. And, as too many of my stories start out, I decided to take a nap. I know what you're thinking. Foolish mom. And I am. I knew something could happen if I took my eyes of those two boys for 10minutes. But sleep got the best of me.

When I woke up, my boys (4 and 3) were playing sweetly on my floor. Few, I thought. I got a little nap and nothing is the worse for it. I headed into the pantry to see what I had to make for dinner. Hum....not much. Could have sworn I had more stuff in here...guess I did a pore job at the shopping this week. Looks like it has to be leftovers tonight.

As I heated spaghetti and meat sauce in the microwave, my husband got home for work. Normally I get a kiss first thing. This day I got, "Have you been in the garage?"

Puzzled, I followed Dan back out into the garage. Then I saw why my cupboards were so bear. Why hadn't I realized it before? My boys had raided my pantry. There, on the floor of the garage, hidden to one side of our car, was a giant pretzel tub full of...my pantry. They had taken oatmeal, flour (whole wheat and white), sugar (brown and granulated), pudding mixes, crystal light mix, Gatorade's, malted vinegar, baking soda, baking powder, a box of kosher salt, and a brand new giant bottle of extra virgin olive oil and mixed it all together. I was at my whits end. These two sooooo knew not to do this. In fact, a few weeks earlier they had done the same thing on a much smaller scale and been punished for it (last time it was only the flours and water).

We called the boys into the garage for a talk.
Their side: We wanted to bake a cake. We were making a cake.
Did you know this was a bad idea? "Yes. But we like baking..." said 4 year old Everett.
"Then lets bake your cake," I said. Everett looked horrified. I calmly walked to the oven and turned it on. Then I pored as much of that nasty stuff as I could fight into my biggest cake pan. "There is too much here to bake. Would you guys like some of the leftovers?" Everett, still looking in shock, shook his head no. Caedmon said he wanted some. I put some in a bowl for Caed, but he didn't try it.
When the cake was done, I put two pieces on the table for my boys and spaghetti on the table for Seren, Dan, and myself. The boys didn't say a word for a long time. Finally, Everett asked for some spaghetti. "Sorry, honey. I don't want to wast all that stuff. It is going to cost me a lot of money to replace all the things you boys used today. So I think you will need to eat this until it is gone."
Everett look beyond puzzled. "But we don't know how to make a cake," he said.
"So remember not to try to bake without mommy helping. Mommy does know how." my husband responded.
"I want to try it." Said Caed.
"Go ahead, Caed. I tried it," I told him,"it isn't very good."
Caed picked up a piece with his fork.
"NOOO! DON"T CAED! IT'S POISON!! WE MADE A POISON CAKE!" shouted Everett. It was all I could do to not laugh.
"It isn't poison. Only yucky."
Caed tried the cake. Then drink a lot of water. "It taste like yucky dough." He told Everett.
But there was no convincing Everett.

When the boys woke up the next morning, they asked for oatmeal. I reminded them about the cake. All our oatmeal was in that cake. They decided breakfast no longer sounded good. So i gave then both a giant cup of milk.

I also sent a piece of this cake with Everett to preschool. Harsh? No. Not if you know Everett. He need this bounder set firm. After I dropped Everett off at his class, I found the preschool director and told her what had happened and what was in Everett's lunch box. I also apologized for having not reminded Everett about this being his lunch and explained my feelings about this boundary. It wasn't that I wanted Everett to eat only this cake, but I couldn't give him any thing else yet. The director got a laugh about it and said she would be glad to help out.

When I picked up the boy's, I found out that the director had lunch in Everett's class. She said when he opened up the Tupperware and saw the cake inside, his eyes about popped out of his head. She questioned him about it, but he didn't want to talk. Thinking the cake looked pretty good, she asked for a bit (I promise I told her what was in it!!). Her report: that was the nastiest stuff ever. Like baked throw-up. She also shared her lunch with Everett. (My boys go to the BEST preschool, boy the way.)

When the boy's got home, I told them I had thrown out the cake. I told them that any time they ever did something like this again, there would be similar consequences. And I hugged them and offered them some real food. So far, we haven't had another pantry raid.
(But before this they took the eggs! Now I remember! The "stinky cat food"!! I will write that next time.)

The Green Belt

2008-10-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night I meet a group of Team Traverse peeps in Austin to do a hilly trail run. Why I was in Austin on Wednesday is another story. But it ends with "Yeah! We have renters!"
Back to the run.
We were supposed to meet at the HOL at 6:00pm. I left Seattle's Best at 5pm thinking I could get a few miles in before the other guy's showed up. But I hadn't counted on the traffic I hit on I-35. While I was sitting In traffic, I dug my trail shoes out of my bag and discovered I had brought two left shoes. Darn. Luckily I had some LaSpoertiva's in the trunk. I had been wanting to try them out. Guess I would get to tonight.I didn't get there until a little past 6, and everyone had gone except for Joe.
Joe waited for me to park and we ran down the HOL together. Then he told me to head up a certain trail intersection and take all lefts. The others went the other way and were taking rights, so I would meet them somewhere on the trails. After about 1.75miles I ran into Pete and Josue. Turning around, I followed them back to the intersection.
On the second loop, I rolled my ankle pretty bad on a steep rocky section. I told Josue I was going to slow down. I just didn't feel safe running a bit hard in the shoes I had on. I figured I would keep taking the appropriate turns and hit the intersection again soon. After a few miles had gone buy, I realized I was running loops and not hitting the right intersection. I decided to go out on a limb and take a new turn. I had run just under 8 miles at this point and I knew I needed to get back soon- the sun was setting. Somewhere around 9.5miles, I felt a panic rising inside. The sunlight was just about gone, I had reached the top of a hill, and I hadn't a clue where I was. There was a stone wall to my left and a beautiful view of a highway below to my right. I figured my best bet was to run down this hill. Keeping the wall to my left, I ran down the trail as hard as I could. After a short while I hit another intersection. There was a fence straight ahead. First, I turned right. Then I changed my mind and turned back the other way. I looked at my GPS and saw I had now been running for 1hr 30minutes. Less then a minute later I hit another fence. There was no way to go but the way I had come from. I ran with the fence to my left. The sun light was gone, but I was running hard down hill. I figured (hoped) I would hit the creek or a neighbor hood and find safety. But I was scared. Crazy people have been reported in this place. Weird things happen here. And this was only my second time running here. I hadn't a clue where I really was. Soon I saw a light in front of me. I called out, and Pete answered. Boy was I relieved! I didn't think the guys would leave me, but I didn't expect to be found either. Pete seemed as relived as I felt. He said Joe and the other guys where looking for me, too. I followed Pete down the trail for a little while until we ran into TJ. Then TJ and I headed to the bottom of the HOL while Pete went back out to find Josue, Joe, and Larry. I think Pete must have found me about 40minutes before the other guys came back.
I have to say I felt quite cared for. I figured Joe would wait for me, maybe go look for me, but I never expected the other guys to join in. And I greatly appreciate their concern. Afterward we all hung out at Joe's truck, had Beer and water, and took a couple of pictures. I think it turned out to be a good experience. I learned that I will not run alone in the Green Belt until I know that place better. And I learned that I have very caring teammates. I feel so blessed to be a part of this Team. We are all just getting to know each other and I am liking everyone more and more. If any of you guys read this, THANK YOU!

Bandera and Lost Mapels

2008-09-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend was my high school reunion. It was also a scheduled running weekend for me. I needed to pick what I'd do and what I'd miss.
I decided to miss the Friday night run for the homecoming football game and drive out to Bandera Saturday morning and miss the reunion.
The football game was a lot of fun. Dan and I took our kids. They loved it. We also got to see a few people from high school. It was kinda funny, because the people we saw went to high school with me and middle school with Daniel. I would have liked to see a few other people. Maybe some other time.
Running at HCSP on Saturday was great! I ran somewhere around 26miles. My GPS sucks, so it could have been more. Daniel ran a lot of that with me, as did my team mate TJ from Austin. Joe, our coach, set out a couple of water coolers and sign in/out sheets to keep track of all the runners. Joe also marked a 7ish mile loop for us and gave us all water proof maps. Dan, TJ, TJ's friend (Jim??), and myself decided to add Lucky's onto that loop in order to get in the most hills per mile. Fun stuff. Lucky is one steep climb,..ur...run. After finishing one of the 7ish loops (my GPS said 7.2. Another said 7.9 and another runner (who skipped Lucky) got 7.48 every loop), Tj, Dan and I headed over to Ice Cream Hill for more big hills. It was all great. I think I would love to spend over 4 hrs every Saturday on trails with friends. During Dan and my's second 7ish loop, I decided I would run up Carrien's Climb and then turn around until I found Dan. I ran .5miles back down that sweet climb and realized Daniel had likely skipped this hill. So back up it and down the other side I went! Dan was at the cooler waiting for me. "That's awesome!", Dan said when I told him what had happened. "You wanted to get in lots of hills and extra miles." He was right. I wasn't mad about it. But I wouldn't have done Carrien's twice in a row any other way!
The next morning, the stars were breath taking! I have missed seeing the starts in a clear black sky more then I knew. After packing up, we headed over to Lost Maples. What a spectacular park! This place was more then beautiful with It's dense trees, steep hills, rocky climbs, creek crossings, twisty trails, and occasional dry rocky creek bed trails. And we soooo lucked out with the weather. It was actually chilly all morning! I can hardly wait to go back!

September 24th

2008-09-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

This morning was a little crazy. All the kids got to bed late, so Dan and I decided we would let them sleep in and then Dan would drive them to school. Normally Dan bikes with Seren and Everett to school. But Caedmon decided he didn't need to sleep in...he was up at 6:30 as usual. Seren, on the other hand, had to be dressed while still sleeping at 7:00.

Once Dan was off to work and Seren and Everett at elementary school, I proceeded to get Caedmon ready for preschool and myself ready for a run. I was excited to run on some measured trails by his school for my fartlek run. But I couldn't find my Timex- only my GPS. My GPS SUCKS on trails. Blah. I know it is mental, but I can't run hard when that thing is bouncing back lies to me. So I searched way too long for my missing Timex. The result? By the time I gave up looking for it, Caed was going to be late. In my hurried state I buckled him into the car sans shoes. Gurrr.

Being we were already at Target buying another pair of size 10.5 little boys shoes (that child has big feet!) , I grabbed another watch. And a Starbucks. (I am such an addict.)

Now back to the car. Only it wouldn't start!!!!!! I called my mom to come give us a jump. By the time we finally got the car going it was after 10am. I looked in the passenger set and saw the "Froggie Snack Bag". This was my week to bring snack. I had the snack... but in the car and not at the school yet. Snack time is 10:10am. Will we make it? Barely...maybe. All this because I wanted my darn Timex.

I had a marvelous run after this. For any non runner who stumbles upon this, "fartlek" is a Swedish word meaning speed play. It is a great way to get in speed work on trails or roads. I ran 4min hard 2min easy X 14 plus warm up and cool down. It was a bit hot out, but this is Texas. It could have been (and often is) hotter. I just LOVE running!!!!! And trails are the best! My leg is still feeling 100% great. My foot is getting better and not worse. I am happy, happy, happy. Yeah for being able to run! So far this week I have run 2 times (25miles total), done weights once, yoga once, and 50mins on a PreCore. This is close to where I had my running before I got hurt. After this weekend, I might have my mileage back up to normal. If not, it will be close. :) Thank you God for running!

Recovery!

2008-09-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting better! I did my first real tempo run in weeks and feel even better after then I did before. Happy day.

This weekend is my 10 year high school reunion. I thought I would want to go. But I kinda don't. It seems like there is really no reason to go. Most of my friends from high school were from church. And I'm not sure if the few friends I had that graduated with me at school will even be there. That part of my life is so much my past. If there was nothing else going on this weekend I would go anyway. But I could camp out with some running buddies this weekend and do lots of tough trails.
I think running beats the reunion...would I regret not going??? I only have a few days to decide.

2008-09-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

My leg is getting better :) Last night I ran some great trails with Larry and TJ up in Austin. Today my leg is still feeling good. My foot is only OK- but no worse. Progress!

I went to Austin yesterday morning to pay the paint man and clean our rental house so we could list it. The painters did an average job. I won't complain, but I won't brag on them either. Going into the cleaning job, I thought I could clean the whole house in 2 or so hours. Boy was I off! I cleaned from about 11:20am until 3:30pm with out so much as a potty break. Then I went to Target for lunch, bought throw away cleaning supplies because the wash cloths I brought needed to be cleaned after EVERY wipe (can you say pet hair- grouse and sticky). I cleaned another whole hour, took a 2 run break from 5:30 to 8, and finally finished about 11pm. I cleaned for 8 hours! Actually cleaned! And that house isn't even that clean now. Next time a renter has pets, the deposit is going up per pet. And how is it that a grown man can have such horrid aim? Guys should set down and point. Standing clearly requires more mental energy then some are willing to give it.

Life

2008-09-02T06:13:00.000-07:00

I should be totally bummed. Some how I am not. Disappointed, a bit nervous...but still feeling upbeat about life. This past week we found out our renter in our house in Austin lost his job. Apparently the job market in Austin isn't great, because he choose to break his lease and move back to his home town. So our rental house is vacant. Anyone interested? It is a well taken care of 3 bed room house with a large backyard (oh how I miss that yard!) and too many other things I like about it to list. Our (sorta ex)renter knows he is responsible for this lease until a new renter is found...we will see how things go.
And I am injured. I don't want to be, but I so am. This is quite a downer. I am surprised I'm not falling into a deep depression over this one. I have had to cut way back on my running, and as a result my jeans are not so comfy currently. Maybe I will go buy some new jeans. But wait...I am currently in no financial position to buy cloths. Maybe I will give up brownies and cakes until I am better (oh, that is doubtful). Hummm......how to eat junk food, run less, and have jeans that fit without buying new jeans....not coming up with anything...
On the happy front: I am almost finished arranging my newest song. Woo-hoo. I love it when I am able to get what is in my head out for my ears to hear.
Caedmon starts preschool tomorrow. That means I will have most of 3 days a week to myself! Oh, I can hardly take the excitement!!!!

2008-08-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

I am bummed. My leg just isn't back to its self yet. and I am tiered of this mileage cut. I want to run as much as I feel like running!! Gurrr. I think I will go running again tonight, even though I ran my (short) tempo this morning before yoga. Maybe I will feel better if I run more. Maybe My leg has tapper pains, not injury pains. Guess there's only one way to find out. I will go for a run!!

Pedernales Race

2008-08-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

It was a great evening for a race. The rain we were getting off and on through out the day Saturday had the temperature down in the 80s, and there was a great chance of more cooling rain through out the night. Daniel and I left Chucky Cheese about 4pm, dropped our 3 treasures off with my mom, and headed out to Pedernales. We stopped at Target for sandwiches and Starbucks on the way. I had my favorite- Turkey with Brie on a roll and the biggest Carmel Frappuccino Light Starbucks makes. The race started at 7pm. Dan and I had plenty of time to get our tent set up, check in, change in to our running gear, and drop our bags off at the start/ turnaround before beginning our run.

I ran the first 5ish miles with my teammate Dalton. We were both thrilled with the weather and excited about the rain that poured on us for about 5mins after the first 1/2 hour. The midway aid station was 5miles from the start going clock wise, 3.5 from the counter clockwise direction. I dropped one bottle at this station and kept going, leaving the group I had been with behind. This next section of the course was the trickiest. Going clockwise, it was a great section to pick up the pace for a bit. If you felt like it, there were some good down hills to run hard. But this section was also very muddy for a large part. Not the slippery mud they have out west. This mud was true Texas mud. The kind that can suck your shoes off or make you several inches taller if your shoes stay on. The kind that has you jumping up in the air and doing strange leg kicks to hopefully knock a few pounds off your feet. Going up hill in on this part was a mind tackler. But running down it was a blast.

The first 23ish mile passed quickly. I was having a great time running in what was unbelievably cool weather for August in Texas. The rain clouds covered the moon at this point, but my lights were working great. And I was thrilled with how well I felt. No puckish feelings, my mind was strong, and I felt great. Aside from having had to back track a minute or so after starting lap 2 to get my lights I had forgotten, things was going well. I could tell my electrolytes were a bit low, though, because my quads were feeling tighter then they should. No one I asked had electrolyte tablets, so I drank my Gatorade E instead of water at the turnarounds and ate ShotBlocks and Hammer Gels for more electrolytes.

About mile 24, when I was taking advantage of how great I felt on a down hill stretch, I landed on a rock. It felt like my foot was shoved into my ankle. Like the space between my ankle and my foot ceased to exist. I am use to rolling my ankles on the trail. Normally I roll an ankle and just keep going. It might hurt a little for a few minutes, but I'm back to 100% quickly. When I reached the turnaround at 25.5 miles, I got what I needed and headed out again- counter clockwise for lap 4. My ankle was still hurting. This had me worried. But I figured there was a good chance I could run it out. So I kept running.

As the miles added on, my ankle felt no better. I tried slowing down in hopes that an easier pace would help me feel better. No such luck. I finished lap 4 with pain radiating from my hip down to my ankle.

At the turn around Brad fixed me a bucket of ice water to stick my foot in and gave me some Alive (?) to keep the swelling down. I iced my foot off and on for about 15mins. My ankle truly felt better, but the rest of my leg didn't. But I really didn't want to stop. Deep down I knew doing another lap could be be a bad idea. But I wanted to do 3 more laps-not stop after 4. I decided to do another lap easy to see how I felt. If I still had leg pain after lap 5, I would call it a night.

I finished lap five feeling at least as injured as I did after lap 4. :( What a bummer. I finished 5 laps for 42.5 miles in 8ish hours. And that needed to be it. I didn't want to stop. But I didn't want to hurt my body long term either. I needed to stop before I was hurting even worse.

Stopping after 8hrs was tough. But I know it was the right decision. I still don't like it, but I needed to stop. I owe a big thank you to Joe (my coach) and Rochelle (fellow ultra runner) for their encouragement to stop. Left solely to me, I might be hobbling around the house for a few weeks instead of actively recovering from this. It is funny how I can be so stupid about some things. Though I have a feeling that same stupidity is largely responsible for much of my success. What irony.

2008-07-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

I am having a boring day today. It isn't that there is nothing to do today. I just don't feel like doing any of the things I could do. Currently the dish washer is running, the wash machine going,workout cloths are cleaned and hanging to dry, all 3 of the kids have put up 15 toys a piece (in increments of 5), and I am sitting on the couch in my PJs (maybe I shouldn't admit that). There are more toys to put away, floors to sweep, the kids bathroom to clean, and laundry to finish. I wish I needed to go shopping today. I like that part of my job best.
It's back to work I go. But first I'll check my email.

12 hour night trail run

2008-07-21T14:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I ran my first timed event. This was also my first night run. And the first time in my life I stayed up past 4am with out falling asleep at some point earlier in the night. My biggest feeling after doing this? Whoa. That was tough.

Disclaimer: My memories of this event are fuzzy. The following is an "as best as I can remember it" account.

The race started at 7pm Saturday evening. It was a hot and humid 98 degrees at the start. My tummy was feeling over full from the 44oz of Power Aid I had drunk over the last hour and the yummy Marble Slab waffle cone I ate around 3:20. Who would have thought coconut ice cream with blueberries could take that long to digest?? I planed on running the first 7.o mile lap a little hard to get in some miles before sunset. But I was making sure to still keep it in the easy range. My sour stomach made it easy to stay in the right range.

The course was rockier and hiller then expected, but I finished loop 1 in 1:01, with a guy named Matt. We had run together some at the Bandera 100k back in January, and I figured we might be able to run most of this race together. About half a mile into lap two, I realized I hadn't grabbed my head lamp at the start area. I politely explained my predicament to Matt, who let me lead the way through lap 2 faster then either of us wanted. But I almost made it! I was only stuck running blind for a half mile or so.

During the first 3 laps my tummy (on up to my mouth) was feeling awful b/c of reflux. That ice cream was not tasting so great now. I kept toying with the idea of walking off the trail and leaving that ice cream behind. But I was scared of getting my electrolytes out of whack. So I tried hard to keep what was in my tummy in my body. I was also scared to add anything to the mix. So I only ate 1 pack of Shot Blocks and drank ice water for those first 3 laps (and 1 electrolyte tab.). After lap 3, I drank a Red Bull. A bold move- given the state of my tummy. But it seemed to help. I stuck another package of Shot Blocks in my pocket and headed out for lap 4.

Running lap 4 was super hard. My thoughts were full of the enjoyment of stopping after 6hrs. They had beer and pizza back at the loop head. And my tummy was still not 100%. But I knew if I stopped after 5 laps (6 hrs- which was still over 2 hrs away), I would still be considered a 12hr runner. Blah. Maybe 3 miles in to this lap I decided to let myself slow down. I ditched the "how far can I go" goal and focused on how much I love running and being out doors. It was cooling off some now. There was a light breeze that smelled just divine. And the sky looked amazing. The peacefulness of being alone with my own thoughts on the dark trail was more of an enjoyment then I expected. I turned off my hand-held LED, stuck it in my pocket, and power walked for the next mile. What a change. What a refreshing change. After that mile, I was ready to run some more. But I decided to keep my hand-held off and run by head light alone. I know this slowed me down, but that is what I wanted.

Before starting lap 5, I switched my hand held light for a hand held water bottle. My tummy was finally feeling better, and I was ready to give some highly iced Gatorade a shot. I had eaten a whole pack of Shot Blocks on that last lap, so I grabbed 2 more electrolyte tablets, drunk some water and stuck a package of Hammer Gel in my pocket. Focusing on enjoying the night and not thinking about pace was feeling wonderful. I did a lot of fast walking and a little fast running. As well as some slow running. All told, I was having a great time.

The last 6 hrs of this race were, in most every way, easier than the first six. It was cooler out, my tummy was feeling better, and I was enjoying myself. I was also pleased with the fact that my legs weren't cramping up at all (Thank you to my friend Meredith!). I say my tummy was better, but not good enough to eat real food. I stuck with gels, Gatorade, electrolyte tablets, and water for the rest of the race.
The only things worse off during the last half? My pace and my toes. I took it slow through the start/ finish area every time- maybe slower the last half. And I made a couple port-o-potty stops (I didn't want to be bitten by an unseen creature in the dark). But I don't remember the details. At one point during the first 6 hrs, I had grabbed a handful of ice. I stuck a few in my mouth to eat and was rubbing some on my face and neck to cool of. When I had eaten the ones in my mouth, I looked at the ones in my hand, thought of the gnats and dirt all over my body and likely on the ice, and said what the hay. And ate the ice.

One other thing. I had my first real wipe out. It didn't hurt much. And I had my hand held light strapped to my wrist to keep from losing it. So I was able to get up and go right away. Mostly I was worried about the dirt on my hands finding its way into my eyes (darn contacts). But I was able to wipe them off at the aid station.

My husband said I left out the part were I won. :) So here it is.

2008-07-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

I love running. And I am really starting to feel like an ultra runner. Last night I decided to run 30 miles. I know I am a bit crazy, b/c I ran it on a treadmill.....it was raining (thunder and lightning) and very muggy out. I wanted to run, and I figured using a treadmill would give me a better mental workout. I think my mental game is down right now. I need to work on mental strength maybe even more then I need to work on endurance or speed at this point. So off to the gym I went. I forced my self to go slow for the first hour- taking 1:01:21 to get to 7.5miles. The treadmill I was running on only let me run up to 1:02 at a time, so I had to restart about every hour. After the second hour (7.75 in 1:01:39- still slower then I felt like going), I refilled my water bottles and started again. I think it took me maybe 2mins total stopping to do this. When I run on a treadmill, I keep the incline at 1% (higher if I want hills, duh). I started into the third hour-ish set feeling even better then I had the 1st hour. This sorts puzzled me. Why do I feel looser and stronger after running over 15 miles???? At this point, I told myself if I run at lest 25miles I could have a cold beer with my dinner at home. After running 23 miles (last 7.75 in 1:00:08), I wanted to run a few hard miles. Really, I wanted to run harder then I did. But I don't want to push a long run like a race, so I didn't let myself run under 7min miles. When I got to 29miles, I told myself I HAD to run the next mile easy to cool down. If I was racing I would have pushed hard for 2 more miles, but this was a workout. I finished the last 7 miles in 52:22, feeling ready to stop but knowing I hadn't pushed my limits.

I think I will try to race my next ultra this way. Taking it super easy at first and then kicking hard at the end. I have a lot of leg strength, and I think kicking it in will work for me. I know treadmills are tons easier then running trails. But I still feel like I can run much better in a race then I have yet. I want to figure out how to get everything in line to race well. Maybe I just need more experience. But I do plan on getting this all figured out.

Oh how I love running.

2008-07-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

This morning my husband was almost killed by a drunk driver. The guy swerved no more then 2 feet from hitting Daniel (as reported by Dan), and hit the median, blowing out 2 of his tires. Daniel was shaken to the max. He went over to the guy, who got out of his car, and Dan asked the guy if he was ok. The guy kept apologizing, saying, "I just didn't see you," and, "you came out of no where." Daniel assured the guy the he had been in that lane for about 10mins, and was well let up- 3 lights visible from the back. The guy smelt strongly of alcohol. Dan kept telling the guy to promise not to drive drunk again. But the guy only would say sorry. After a couple of minutes, the guy said he had a cell phone, got into his car, and speed off- on his flat tires. Daniel called 911 at this point, but was too shaken to have the plate numbers or make of the guys car.
I am just glad Daniel wasn't hit! I do hope the guy gets cought before he kills someone- if that is what it takes to stop him. I am praying he gets help before that point. Daniel has desided he will no onger take his bike out before 4:30am. I had been pushing for this all along. Praise God he made this dession with out being hurt!

2008-05-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

Forest Park 50k was such a blast! A big thunder storm blow in Saturday night, and there was a light-moderate rain during almost the whole race on Sunday. The course was muddy the whole way and slippery in spots. It was just a perfect almost cold morning for a trail race. Daniel and I showed up at the start an hour or more before hand. But being Portland time is 2 hours behind Texas, we had already had a long leisurely morning. The day before we walked all over Portland trying to figure out the best way to get to the Lower Macleay trail head. Turned out we could walk 3 blocks from out hotel to the #15 bus stop, which runs every 15 minutes. That bus dropped us off 2 blocks from the start of the race. Just perfect. So on race morning we grabbed Starbucks (Mocha Soy latte and a turkey pesto sandwich) and headed to the bus stop.

The race started at 8:30am. Wendel (one of the RD's) went over the course directions and how to read the markings before we took off. The first 10k went by at just the right pace. Running through Forest Park was like running in a fairy-tale land. The trees were tall and dense, and there was a light fog in parts. The trails were the perfect kind of muddy for running on, and the few rocks on the course didn't even move when stepped on. Everything around us was lush.

I reached the first aid station (10k) in 55 minutes. Shortly after leaving that aid station, I came to an odd intersection. There where orange streamers to the right, but they weren't stripped. Wendel was very clear in saying all turns were marked with stripped streamers. While I stood there, course directions in hand, 3 guys and 1 girl rounded the corner. We all decided the streamers were likely moved, and headed in a diffrent (and the right) direction. This happened a few more times during the second 10k. In fact, I was just sure we were off course before we came upon aid station 2 (20k-1:51 after the start).

I left the 20k running hard, b/c my legs were feeling good and I wanted to try and finish fast. As it turned out, there was a giant muddy down hill that evened out the hard running I was doing on the other parts of this section. That muddy down hill was great! At first I was sorta shuffling down the side, keeping my feet partly on grass and grabbing hold of trees. But I took an awesome roll, and decided to change my approach. The guy in front of me had been skiing on his feet. I gave that a try. And I wiped out. To prevent farther injury to myself, I decided the sledding approach would be best. So I sat down and slid.

I made it to the 30k aid station in 2:46. Another 55 minute 10k. My legs were still feeling good, so I tried to keep pushing. When I reached the 40k, my watch said 3:42. I left my totally soaked shirt and my waist pack at that aid station and headed out for the finale 10k. I was running hard and extremely excited to be doing well. I hit a few miss marked intersections, but the guy in front of me helped me out. One time I was about to turn the wrong way when a guy came from that direction and said, "Go that way." Apparently he had taken a wrong turn and was back tracking. With maybe 2 or 3 miles to go, I took a wrong turn. I realized it when the down hill section I had just pounded out opened up into a neighborhood. I looked back the way I came, and said forget it. This is my biggest regret through this race. I should have booked it back up that hill and gone the right way. But I didn't. I was too mad at myself for having been careless. So I followed the course markings for what ever course I was now on. Truthfully I hopped it would lead me back to the start and I could get a DNF and some food. Instead it lead me back up the hill and onto the 50k course. Only now I was getting to back track. Oh joy. Being in a rotten mood, I was walking and wishing for a helicopter. If I could have walked off the course at this point I would have. But I had no choice in the matter. I had to follow the 50k course through the finish.

Shortly before reaching the finish line, I was feeling much better. Sure I had blown the race and made a classic rookie mistake in not turning around. But I AM a rookie. This was my 4th ultra and 6th trail race ever. I still have much to learn. And I learned a lot at this race. Plus I had a blast. I run trails because I LOVE running trails. Not because I'm fast and not to win. I love running fast, and I do want to try to win. But those aren't the reasons I'm out there running. I run because I love to run. I am sorta glad I didn't win. If I had, I might have lost sight of why I'm a runner.

Not only that, but I am super glad I was able to learn:
1. Know your course. Course markings are to help, not lead.
2. Turnaround as soon as you realize you are off course.
I am now on a racing team. And it feels good to know I will be a better runner for my team and our sponsor's in the future, having learned what I have now, before I am running for them.

2008-03-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will start a meal log using jott. I am so not looking forward to this. But it seems to be the only way to figure out how much of what I should eat when. Right now I am very off and on about eating healthy. Some days I do great. Other days....I eat candy for breakfast and ice cream for dinner. It is just so hard for me to cut out the junk when I am not "over" weight. But I know my running will improve if I can eat better regularly. So I am going to try this. Uck.

Prickly Pear 50k

2008-03-16T15:20:00.000-07:00

Running the Prickly Pear yesterday was sooooo much fun! The race started at 7:00 am, in the dark. I lined up just behind a group of guys, one of whom was wearing the yellow lead jersey. The weather was perfect- crisp and cool. I ran a bit behind the lead guys for a couple miles before they picked it up even more and were out of site. To my surprise, I rounded a tight corner less then 30 minutes later to see a guy peeing on the trail. He ran off just in front of me. A couple of minutes after that I came up to the whole group of guys. They had slowed quite a bit, and I hopped passed them on a down hill stretch. But all 3 of them stayed right on me. Around mile 8 I told them they were welcome to pass any time. One of the guys said, "Thats alright. I figure the footing is better a few feet behind you." Then he repeated this comment to his buddies....(hu???)...who laughed....(okay..).

The four of us finished loop one together, with me in the lead. As we were leaving the aid station, one of the guys said he was finished. The other 2 guys asked me if I wanted to lead. I told them to go on ahead. Boy did they! I didn't see them again until I came in to finish loop 2. My splits for the first 2 loops were the same, and I got out of that station about 2 or 3 minutes after the lead guy. The other guy had only planed on running 2 loops of the 50k, so there was only one runner ahead of me.

By this time it was HOT out. My legs were cramping, and Amanda (my coach) gave me extra electrolytes and pinned some Shot Blocks on my shorts. I had hoped to run the first 2 laps in about 1:20 and the last one faster. So far I was on pace. But I wasn't sure about running faster for lap 3 with the cramping and heat.

Just before mile 4 of lap 3 (mile 25ish), I passed the lead guy. He was walking in a hot, unshaded section and said, "Go get it" with a smile. So I kept going. I was running quite a bit slower now- almost one minute a mile slower then I wanted. But I did what I could, and fought the urge to slow my pace further. I finished in 4:08:14- first female and first finisher . :)

2008-02-12T15:01:00.000-08:00

Gosh, I'm just feeling so down lately. I don't even know why. I don't want to clean my house. I don't want to eat good foods. Or drink water. Or even sing. Blah. What is wrong with me??? My running is suffering too. My mindset is just bad. I need to snap out of this funk before I gain 15 pounds, give up speed work, and have more house work then any one person can handle in a day.

I have been kinda sick with a sines infection for over a week now. My head, ears, and jaw are in such pain. But no fever yet. I almost wish I would just get a fever so I can get some antibiotics and get well.

Hum....maybe that is really what is wrong. My body is just a bit sick, so I am in a funk. Well snap out, Aniejoy!!!! Snap out.

2008-01-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

When I started a blog, I wanted to write at least once a week. But that just isn't happening yet. I guess writing some is better then none. I will try to write more often. But I just don't feel like writing right now. Be warned.

On January 5th I ran the Bandera 100k, my second ultra. Dan and I stayed at a little ranch 9miles out side of Bandera. On race morning, we arrived at the race at 7:20am-10min before the start. I barely made it through the porto line when Joe (the RD) said "GO!". After running to the tent and yelling, "Number 54 is here!!", I ran to the starting line, asked a lady if she could validate my check in, and took off. A couple miles before reaching the 1st aid station I meet a guy named Dalten. He said I beat him last year by a few minutes, and he wanted to do better this year. His buddies gave him a hard time about having been beat by a girl. He was great company for the next 40 miles. We talked a lot and took turns leading up the trails. But the heat was getting to him, and he had to stop to try and get his hydration situation settled. Boy, it did get hot out there! I think the high was 76. After all the cold weather we have had, 76 felt quit hot! Especially since there was no cloud cover. But I am still grateful for the dry ground and the fact that it wasn't any hotter then it was.

The first 50k flew by in 5:05:02 (opps...). My quads were feeling the pounding I had given them and were cramping up pretty bad by the time I reached the lodge (50k). But I knew I needed to just keep going. I wanted to call it a day, but I didn't. I kept telling myself I would run to at least one more aid station. It got dark about 10:45 into the race, maybe 4 miles from the finish line. I turned on my headlight and kept running hard, finishing in 11:25:45. About 7 minutes short of a course record. Well, I did what I could do this year. Hopefully next year I will be faster.

Race report

2007-11-12T04:31:00.000-08:00

I wanted so bad to have a great race. I trained well. Worked hard. Tried to eat right. But today just wasn't my day. I should have admitted this days ago. My mind was beat up and worn done. Racing any distance- really racing- was out of the question. But I wanted to be tough. I wanted to over come my emotions and fears from this past week and accomplish what I had trained my body to accomplish. Some how I thought I would be able to do it. I was just going to run. Hard. I know my body was ready. I had proven that to myself well in training. So I found myself standing at the starting line at 7:00am, my body feeling great, and mind full of hope over racing this marathon. The first mile passed easily in 6:29. About 10 seconds fast, but that should be okay. By the time I finished mile 2, I was running at a 6:43 pace. My legs felt good. My breathing was light. But something inside me was saying, "Just stop. You don't want to do this." I tried to turn that voice off for the next 6 miles. I kept telling my body to go. This is my marathon pace, I feel great. Just Go! But that darn voice wouldn't give. A piece of me was saying to stop. "Don't make yourself uncomfortable over nothing. Racing is nothing. You want to run? Great. You wan to run a marathon? That is just silly. You want to RACE a marathon. Now that is stupid of you. Just quit now while you are still feeling great." Around mile 9 I shared my thoughts with a running buddy of mine.
"I don't want it. I just can't find my desire to make my legs go right now."
"You can always recover from that," he said. Looking down at his watch he added, "We are right on pace. Just run with me and we will be under 3hours."
I ran with him for a couple of miles. But that darn voice in my head was being awfully persistent. "God, help me do this," I pleaded. "My desire to go is gone.... I want to work with all my heart in all I do for You, Father. Give me the strength to pour myself into this now. Let me be yours above mine." But I just couldn't get myself to push.
Soon after, I saw my husband. "Would you be made at me if I quite?" I asked.
"Your doing great. Just hang in there!"
So I kept going. Mile after mile I just put one foot in front of the other and ran. Every so often I would glance at my watch, see how slow I was going, take a physical inventory, realize how great my body felt and tell myself to pick it up. But it was like I had a demon on my back. Something was sucking my will to run right out of me. "GO!!" I told my body. "Just quit. You are way off pace now," some piece said to my will. But I didn't want to quit. "Yes, you do. You don't want this," I heard in my mind. I can do this. I can run hard for the last 8 miles in still finish well. "But that would be silly. You already are too far off pace to recover. Just walk off the course. Everyone has bad days. Just quit."
Some how I didn't quit. I never could make my body go, but didn't stop trying. When I saw my husband at mile 20, he gave me words to hold on to. "Go what ever pace you want. You are almost there. You can do this." I knew he was right. There was no reason for my to walk off that course. Mentally, I was having the worst run of my life. But physically I felt great. I just had to except that I was running what I was running on this day and let go of what I wanted to have happened. When I hit mile 25 I said "Go!!" On last time to my legs. Only this time I said it out loud. Actually, I said, looking at my watch as I approached the 25th mile marker, "On your mark, get set, go!" My watch read 3:08:something. I felt silly trying to get my legs going for the last 1.2 miles of this race, but I wanted to conquer my mind. So I ran. The clock read 3:15:something as I crossed the finish line. About 7 minutes for the last 1.2 miles isn't too bad. If only I could have gotten myself to run that for the whole last half! But I felt good about having crossed that finish line. Sure my time was far from where it could have been, but that made crossing that finish line much harder. Getting a DNF would have, in some ways, felt better then finishing so far off pace. Now I officially am a "3:15 marathoner"(Not that that is bad. Just... I could run so much better.) . But I didn't let that darn voice win! It could ruin my race, but it couldn't conquer me. HA!

2007-11-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

Today I ran my 6th Marathon. I was so excited going into my taper for this race. The goal: run under 3:00, hopefully closer to 2:54. The plan: run the first 20 miles at about 6:43 per mile and kick hard for the last 10k. I was sooooo ready for this.
The reality: today was not my day.

Last weekend I went on a retreat with a singing group I am in. It was a wonderful weekend! I woke up early, had my quite time, drank some coffee w/ soy milk, went on my short runs and got back just in time for breakfast both days. I got to spend good quality time with my female friends, and just loved the whole weekend. When I got home Sunday, I heard the news. Ryan Shay had died while running in the Men's Olympic Marathon Trials the day before. My response was complete denial. How could a young, fit runner, who just months before ran a 2:14 marathon die while racing? And when I learned he had passed so early in the race (just past mile 5), my heart sank to my feet. I was so confused. How, why?

Things got more stressful for me when I learned he had likely died because of an enlarged heart. When I was in high school, I had arrhythmias in my heart. I had a whole battery of tests run and wore a heart monitor for weeks back then. My cardiologist diagnosed my with Super Ventricular Tachycardia. A mild heart arrhythmia requiring absolutely no medical intervention at that time. But I vividly remember his words during my ECHO 12 years ago, "Your heart looks health. Strong, but big. You have an athletes heart." Red flags were going of in my mind over this. Ryan Shay died, likely because he had an enlarged heart. My heart is "..big...an athletes heart". The term athletes heart popped up several times on Google when I searched for information on Ryan Shay's death. This was not what I wanted to hear 7 days a way from racing a marathon.

I made an appointment with my doctor to discus this. In all honesty my hope was for her to tell me I was being paranoid. But she didn't. She suggested I have another ECG and we compare this one with the one I had 12 years ago. Smart lady, my doctor.

Ultimately I am glad I had tests run this past week. All the results have been very reassuring. But this week took a toll on me mentally. I just wasn't ready to pore myself into this race today. I trained well and hard. I wanted my body to just take over, but my mind was having non of that. My drive to run hard was gone. So I decided I would just run, not race. Push if I felt like it, but just run to finish. I finished in about 3:15, and place 3erd. Just putting one foot in front of the other for 26.2 miles earned me 500 dollars. Not too shabby. And I have nothing to recover from. My legs feel great, like I feel after 20 mile training runs, not after racing- even a half marathon.

I am hoping my drive to compete will come back. But for now, I have closed this chapter in my running life and am opening the next...................
Look 100k, here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

San Antonio Marathon! Decision Made.

2007-09-30T13:26:00.000-07:00

I have finally picked my next race. I will run the San Antonio Marathon on November 11th. Man, I'm not sure if I have ever been this pumped about running a race in my life! Here is the plan: Run the first 20 miles at a 6:43 pace and then start pushing if I can. And I think I can! Today I ran 13.1 miles in 1:27:59 no problem. It took all the will power I could muster to keep from pushing the pace, but my goal was to feel my body run 13.1 at my goal marathon pace. As soon as I hit 13.1, though, I decided to run a few fast 200s. Total time to the 14 mile mark: 1:33:30. WooHoo! Not only that, but I ran 9 miles on tough trails yesterday and then hiked for 2 hours w/ my kids. And on Friday I ran 16 miles (fairly fast) on trails. I am feeling totally ready to tackle this marathon! And if I bonk, then I bonk. I am going to go for a 2:56 marathon with the hopes of finishing faster then that!

Welcome Halle

2007-08-07T13:56:00.000-07:00

All last week my Mac was out of commission. Oh how I missed my beloved computer! I almost kissed the Genius who handed it back to me. This is the 2end time I have had a problem w/ my Mac Book and the 2end time I have been pleased w/ how Apple handled my problem. Thank you to Apple for great customer service and incredible products that you know how to stand behind (and fix for free).

I am still tied for 1st in the gozone contest. Just over a week to go, so it looks like I will be one of several names in the drawing.

My good friend Rae had her little girl this past Friday. Her labor went so fast that the midwife was only there for about 45 minutes before the birth. What a God send! Everything went perfectly and little Halle was welcomed into this world in full joy by her happy family. I love that Rae took up her responsibility in childbearing and learned how to care for herself as well as her baby during pregnancy and delivery. Delivering a baby is a learned skill that requires preparation before hand. And even then a midwife or doctor is needed to help out. Sometimes doctors are need for more, but so much of that is in a womens control. At least over 90% of the time. I wanted the same thing in childbearing that Rae wanted. A healthy baby first and to birth my child myself second. Educating myself on pregnancy, labor, and delivery is the only reason I was able to achieve my goals through all three of my pregnancy's. It always urks me when people say, "you were so lucky to have uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries." While I realize that there was some luck (or genetics) involved, the larger reason for my successful childbearing came from me taking an active roll in my health before and during pregnancy. My husband and I practiced- yes we actually did practice- labor and delivery. I learned non focused awareness (NFA) and other ways to deal with labor pains. I practiced yoga as a way to learn deep breathing, relaxation, and how to isolate and use specific muscle groups while keeping all others at total rest. Having a baby is hard work, harder then any race I have ever run. I approached pregnancy, labor and delivery like I would any other thing in life I wanted to succeed at. I learned how to increase my chances of attaining my goal, found someone (or lots of someones) to help me ( my doctor and midwife), made sure that my goals were understood by myself as well as my helpers, and recognized the valied possibility of things not going as planed. But I had a lot of peace in knowing that my Doctor and I had done and were doing all that we could to reach my goals. If I NEEDED a cesarean then it would be done in order to reach the number one goal of this pregnancy- the delivery of a healthy baby.

Wow. I sorta went off there. But being this is my blog, thats ok. Childbearing is something I feel passionately about. Bring new lives into this world is an incomparable gift from God. The memories I have from my three pregnancies and deliveries form so much of who I am as a women. Child birth can be so empowering. The bond I have with my kids because of the work I did to get them here and the respect I have gained for my own body through bearing them is incredible. It saddens me that so many women are too afraid to birth their children. But I still try to be respectful of their decision. It is hard b/c I feel like so many women would choose differently if they were educated about it. But it is also, at least some of the time, their decision on whether or not to get educated. So when my friends are all talking about epidurals and the crazy women who go with out an epidural, I try to smile and keep my moth shut. I honestly mean them no disrespect for choosing as they have, and there is no reason to try and make a women feel bad about a decision that can't be taken back.

GoZone days 3 and 4

2007-07-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it is down to 36 people. I am surprised how fast some of the competitors feel off. Maybe weekends are harder for most people when it comes to working out. Today (Monday) will be my hardest day to get all my steps in. Mondays are my day off from running.

Normally I stay home and do house work on Mondays. Today will be a little diffrent because my older two children have dentist appointments in an hour. Then maybe we will go to the park. Yesterday the parks were still closed due to flooding, but I bet they will open back up today.

On a totally diffrent note...........
A good friend of mine is currently in Poland to adopt 3- yes 3-little boys. Today is their court date. We are praying that the judge will shorten the length of time they will be required to stay in Poland so they can bring their family home! They have been in Poland for almost 3 weeks now, with their boys, and are just adoring having their family all together at last. They have been waiting to bring those boys home for 5 months, and it is finally happening!!!!!!!!!

The first e-mail I received from her after she had spent her first day with her boys just cracked me up! I have a feeling our boys are going to be great playmates. And I know she is going to LOVE raising those 3 boys. God has gifted her with such a heart for mothering. Her desire to give of herself to her children is inspirational. Having her as a friend has helped me to be a better mom, and I am soooooooooo glad she gets to be with her boys now!!! I can't wait to meet them!

GoZone Contest day 2... and Running

2007-07-21T17:44:00.000-07:00

I was wrong about the steps contest at my gym. More the 100 people are maxing out their steps daily. But can they do it every day for a month? That will be the real challenge. And in the rules it states......"In the event of a tie, the winner will be randomly chosen in a drawing." So I have a good chance of winning nothing. Oh well. I can still hope and try.

I ran 18 miles in 2:17:30 at the gym to day. After I finished a lady named Lew came up to talk with me about running. She use to run quite a bit, but hurt her knee over a year ago and has had to cut back. After talking for awhile, it seemed like her injury my have been a result of running to much to fast. And doing no leg strength work. I told her what I do to protect my knees and other joints. I also told her that it took me years to get to the level I am at with my running. It felt good to see her getting excited about running. By the time we finished talking, she was saying how she is inspired to work her way up to running marathons or even ultras. And she knows to take her time. I hope I keep seeing her at the gym often. Maybe in a few months she well be training for her first marathon!

I think the best part of running is being able to do something with myself. As a stay at home mom to three small children, it is easy for me to feel like I am not accomplishing anything with my life. I know how much my kids need me, but it can still feel so meaningless. Wash the laundry, load the dishwasher, put someone in timeout, sweep the floors, get someone else a drink, fold the laundry, make lunch, tell who ever is doing the potty dance to use the potty, help pick up the toys, unload the dishes, read 6 kids books 12 times each.......it is the same list of things day in and day out. Two years ago when we first moved down here, I was not doing well at all. The monotony of motherhood had swallowed me whole. I had lost myself in my children, and felt like I was suffocating. My soul was crying out to God for help. I wanted to be able to pour myself into something that had visible results. I knew with my brain that raising my children needed to be top priority in my life, and that what I was doing now would have long term benefits. But my spirit couldn't take it anymore. I needed to do something else- along with being a mother. Something that would make me feel I was doing something God had uniquely equipped me to do for Him. God lead me to Ultra marathoning. (how He lead me here will have to be another blog) I had already run several marathons and was a fairly good runner at most distances. My running ability was nothing too out of the ordinary- at that time my best 5k was just over 20mins and my marathon 3:25. Good times, but far from great. But I had never before considered running more then a marathon. Now the idea of digging deep into myself to find the focus and strength to prepare for a 62 mile race was exactly what I needed.

I was pleasantly surprised to see my body responding so favorably to the riggers of training for an ultra marathon. It seemed like the longer my log runs got, the easier and faster all my other runs became. About 4 months into my 100k training, I raced a half marathon. The course was super hilly and I had no idea what pace I would be running. But being I had pick an even hillier 100k, this half looked like a logical training race. My "tempo runs" at that time where 10 milers done in the 7:20s per mile. I figured, at the very lest, I could pull off each mile in 7:10 for this half. I crossed the finish line in 1:31- averaging under 7 per mile. And I had run negative splits! Being I was the 4th female finisher, I had also earned 60 dollars. Man was I happy! A few weeks later I ran a marathon in 3:17. And I had a bad day that day. My mind was so boggled over running 3:17 on a BAD day that I couldn't feel bad about having raced poorly. Winning $500 upped my spirits, too.

After the marathon, I jogged an easy 4 miles to brake 30 miles for the first time in my running life. My many goal was still to finish a 100k. I knew I needed to run over 30 miles at one time if I wanted to get my mind ready for a 100k. But those last 4 miles where killer! This is when I started freaking out over the idea of running 62 miles at one time. How could I do it!?! I would do it much slower, for one. I had run the whole marathon. But I had learned something in doing the 4 miles after: my body would not be running the whole 62 miles. Walk breaks would be a must. And the running I would do would be done at a pace much slower then my marathon pace. A good lesson to learn before getting to the starting line of a 100k.

I had less then 3 months to recover from this marathon before running my first ultra. Doing this while trying to keep my long runs up proved tough. Most of my runs were now being done on trails that closely mocked those of the 100k. And I bought a CamlBak to keep from dying on the trails. Texas is HOT, and those trails have no water fountains. But I showed up on race morning ready to give it my all.

It was raining that morning. For anyone who is interested, I have a full race report that I will post later. But for now I will say I did it. I finished. And I finished feeling strong. And I won. I am not fool enough to think this means I will always win. But I am fool enough to say it means I could win again. I asked God to give me a way to serve him using myself, and I think He did. It is my running. All of my race times are getting faster. My 5k PR is now 18:05. My tempo runs, while at 6 miles, are done under 6:30. And if I run a marathon again this fall I plan on breaking 3 hours. But my main goal is to go back to that 100k and do much better this time. I wan to see if I can do it fast, know that I know I can cover the distance.

Rain, rain, rain

2007-07-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

I am wimping out again today. It has been raining for about 12 hours and I am going to go to the gym and run on the treadmill instead of outside. Honestly, it has been drizzling for about the last hour. Not REAL rain. The lightning stopped hours ago. I could run outside, but the humidity.........and the trails are closed due to flooding. And it is HUMID!

When I first joined a discussion board for ultra runners last year, I was freaking out over the idea of running 62 miles at one time. Someone told me, "Suck it up, princess, and run." This was just what I needed to hear. I had trained well and the only way to see if I was ready for that ultra was to go and run it. I often wish someone would tell me that every time I am turning to a wimp. But no one is here to sat that to me now, so off to the gym I go!

At least I will do my 18 mile run! (And the rain just picked up again...for real.)

GoZone Contest

2007-07-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

The gym I belong to is having a contest. Who ever takes the most steps between July 20th (today) and August 18th wins 1,000 dollars. All we have to do is wear a little pedometer on our hip all day long and then up load our steps. The max number of steps anyone is allowed to take per day is 30,000. I figure as long as I take 30,000 steps a day, I will at least tie for first! I am pretty excited. So far today, I have taken 15,178 steps. My goal is to reach 20,ooo before 4:00pm. Then when Daniel gets home, we can go for a family walk. I really think I can get in 30,000 step a day.

What will I do w/ the money when I win??? I have no idea. I am fairly certain that I will actually receive the money in gift cards. This will limit my options for splurging, but that is fine by me! I also have a feeling that at least one other person plans to max out their steps daily- which means I will be splitting the prize w/ another person or people. But being this is a free contest, I am still feeling good about being one of even 100 winners. (I doubt more then 100 people around here will be taking 30,000 steps daily for a month!)

Off to take a few steps. Then maybe blog some more.

yoga picture

2007-07-15T17:27:00.002-07:00

From someyoga in j...

My crazy boys!!

2007-07-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

My kids (ages 6(f), 4(m), 2.9999(m)) and I where having a boring afternoon. I was suppose to take them to my in-laws house to play w/ their cousins, but the two cousins were napping. Being it was a hot day, I didn't want to take them to the park. So I peeked into our backyard to see about playing in the water. We had weeds as high as my shoulders and our grass was (no joke) knee level. With all the rain we've been getting here in Texas for the past month the grass has been growing fast. And the rain didn't let up long enough to cut the grass until earlier this week. There would be no water play until this yard was mowed!

Instructing my beautiful children to play on the half painted porch while NOT touching the gallons of paint or the painting supples, NOT playing in the grass (those kids have no fear), and to please yell loud if I am needed, I headed around the corner to plug in our electric lawn mower. I gotta tell you, this was scary! We have seen several snakes in our yard, along w/ snake skins. In all likely hood we have at least one snake living under our porch. And while I can recognize a harmless grass snakes, the big black snake looks like it could be dangerous. Walking through knee level grass had me wigged out.

For the first 20 minutes everything was going well. I could see my kids playing on the porch and they had only called me once to ask for a drink. Sure it was hot, but I was enjoying plowing down the weeds w/ my little electric mower. Some of those weeds were tough to plow! I had to throw all of my weight into forcing the mower forward and then pull it back over the same spot a couple of times to get the grass to cut. I also discovered 4 giant ant pills. About 30 minutes into the job I looked up to see no kids on the porch. Being a young, foolish mom, I continue mowing for another 5 or 10 before heading in to check on the kids. I have spent over half an our mowing my small backyard and I'm not half way done! Bummer!

As soon as I open the back door, my 4 year old son, Everett, comes running. "Mommy! Caedmon (2 almost 3 year old son) is painting our bedroom!" And that is exactly what Caedmon was doing. There were 2 gallons of Beher outdoor paint opened up on the floor, and Caed had a paint brush. The walls were green, the oak bunk bed was green, the wood floor was green, Caed's bedding was green. And Caedmon? He was looking pretty green him self.

I was peeved! Those boys knew not to touch the paint! What were they thinking? And I was pretty sure Caedmon had an accomplice. Carrying 2 gallons of paint from the back porch to his bed room, along w/ a paint brush and even the paint can opener was more then my brilliant and mischievous 2 year old would do on his own. Everett is always the brains behind their little operations. Everett, being 16 months older then Caed, has the good since to not follow through with his schemes himself. But he is awfully good at getting Caedmon to follow through for him.

So often I wonder how anyone can raise more the 2 little boys in one house. I love my boys and they are really good kids. They are usually obedient (this has been taught) and enjoy being helpful. But when they think they might get away with something (meaning any time I am preoccupied).......they will try. You would think I would have learned my lesson the time Seren (big sis) came to me in the kitchen and said, "Everett is pooping off his bed!" I thought I could do something fun and make pizza dough for the kids to each make their own pizza. But dividing all that dough into little pizzas took too long for the boys. Sure enough, Seren was true to her word. Everett, little butt hanging off the top bunk, was pooping, and Caed was driving through it on his riding train. This is why they have wood floors now. Why would anyone even think to do something like that? When they were younger it was even harder. Oh the stories I have about my crazy boys! Thank God those two are teachable!

tonight

2007-07-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep tonight. Guess I have too much on my mind.

I am such an opinionated person. And driven. And stubborn. I have no problem disagreeing w/ a person. Our a group of people for that matter. If I don't see things in the same light as others, I don't see things in the same light as others. It should come as no surprise, then, that I've never been the most popular girl around. I'm fairly attractive, fairly smart, fairly talented and very opinionated. Maybe an intimidating package. I probably come across as a self absorbed know-it-all. Some how I forget- in my ability to enjoy differences- that not every one is the same. Some people don't like hearing what other people think. Some people feel like if we can't all agree then some thing is wrong. I make people feel like what they think is "wrong" b/c I don't think the same think. But I don't think they are wrong. I just have no problem w/ us seeing things differently. I even enjoy hearing why someone believes as they do. I like to be taken through the steps they took to get to where they are. But sometimes I can't get there. And sometimes I'm inviting myself into a place I haven't been invited when I try. I need to learn when to keep my moth shut. I actually dread talking to people b/c I don't want to be judged. I know whole heartedly who I am. The good and the bad. But other people can't look inside me and know. Yet they try. They listen to what I say and watch what I do and try to guess as to what it all means. Why do people do this? I am so much more then what I say or do.

If I wasn't so driven, I wouldn't run ultra marathons. Or even marathons. I would have never become a fast runner, either. I wouldn't have gone to college. I wouldn't even be able to read! I wouldn't be able to sing. And there isn't a chance on earth that I could have birthed three children w/o drugs. I would have left my husband years ago. I would weigh 200 pounds instead of 116. My house would be a wreak...... My life would be a wreak. So when it comes down to it, I like that I am stubborn and driven. In fact, it is the piece of me I am most grateful to God for. If only I was as hard hearted as my stubbornest makes me seem. Then I would be sleeping in my bed instead of writing a blog at 12:40am that in all likely hood will never be read. Only I am too stubborn to really want a hard heart. I want a soft, loving heart. I want to have the guts to put my real self out there where I might be shot down. I don't want to hide behind a hard heart. I don't want to become a hard heart.