Food!

I am no stranger to high mileage weeks and long races. In fact, my mileage has been on the low side since I injured my heel back in October. But what I am not use to is eating healthy. My diet is, by no means, perfect, and I don't even want it to be "perfect". What I do want to do is fuel my body as an athlete. To make smart food choices to sustain my running before, during, and after runs. This is HARD. For the last 3 or so years, I have been pretty good at eating healthy for most of my meals. But some how I had this idea in my head that if I ran 10 or so miles I could eat 500 or more calories of anything I wanted. Being I ran 10 or more miles 4 times a week, I helped myself daily to ice cream, brownie batter, cookie dough...anything I wanted. NOT SMART. Awhile back I kept a food journal because I had gained 5 pounds and didn't like how cruddy I was feeling on my runs. My goodness! I can't believe the amount of crap I was putting into my body regularly. I started then making small changes. First I only allowed myself one serving of junk a day (only I cheated way too often). Pretty quickly I lost 3 of those pounds. After a few months I figured I could really do this healthy eating thing. I truly felt tons better when running and had more energy for everything and even felt happier just from cutting way back on sugars. Maybe I could make some more changes and feel even better. NO MORE JUNK. For a few weeks, it went pretty well for me. I think I had 2 ice creams in a 3 week period and no other sweets. No chips. I even cut down my sodas to zero (!!). But then I ran Bandera. I've really been trying. But oh my, oh my, oh my! I feel the calorie shortage I've created by cutting out junk food. All week I've fought the urge to go by ice cream or make some brownies. I've eaten more giant salads then ever in one week. And I caved. Thursday I made Rice Crispy treats (w/ Cheerios and caramel).I am feeling proud of myself for eating no more then three at one time! And yesterday I made cranberry scones. Oh how yummy they were! And tonight I am finally not feeling so hungry.
So can I do it? Can I go back to no junk food??? I want to. I've said to myself many times today, "I'm not afraid to fill up on more veggies and fruit!" as a friend of mine so perfectly put it. But the truth of the matter is, I think I'm scared! Scared of fruit and veggies. Maybe I can learn to be scared of cookies and brownies instead!